


The worst Spy

by Kupotastic



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Based on a Saturday Night Live Sketch, Brotherly Hux, Cute Rey, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Kissing, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo and Rey are both a bit stupid, Misunderstandings, My First Fanfic, Phasma Lives (Star Wars), Random side characters - Freeform, Redemption, Short Chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27400519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kupotastic/pseuds/Kupotastic
Summary: -------------------------------"Are you Matt?" She asked, but it wasn't  a real question. He followed her gaze to his chest, which had a nametag with the letters MATT on it.Stunned he said the first thing that occurred to him,"Hi, I'm Matt. I'm a radar technician.""OH REALLY MATT?", she yelled," Guess what, we all... " she waved around wildly, "...ARE TECHNICIANS. That's what you've been hired for,Matt!"------------------------------Kylo investigates evidence that Rey is spying on his ship. But if she doesn't act as he expected and looks totally cute and happy, then he quickly forgets that they should actually be enemies.Above all...Rey is the worst spy ever
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Phasma, Kylo Ren/Rey, Matt the Radar Technician/Rey (Star Wars), Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 19
Kudos: 55





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfiction ever and i don´t know why i write it at all. I am not even a good writer lol.
> 
> I need to admit, that i was never a star wars fan at all, but after seeing the sequel and bawling my eyes out, like a abandoned puppy, i was falling deep in love with Reylo.  
> Normally i would just draw some comics or sketches to fulfill my love for these characters, so this was more planned as a storyboard for myself, but somehow it ended up more detailed as i wanted, thats why i decided to share the story with you.  
> I misused some things from the Star Wars universe for the necessity of my story, so please don´t feel offended if you are a real fan. I try to do my research as good and much as possible.
> 
> Also my mother tongue isn´t english, so please be nice if you find any grammatical mistakes, you can let me know and i`ll try to correct as much as possible. I hope everyone will help me to become a better writer and I am always grateful for tips and tricks.

Today was like any other day since he killed Snoke or fought with his uncle on Crait.

  
Totally shit and fucked up.

  
Kylo Ren was standing in his chamber, completely lost in his thoughts. Even though he was the Supreme Leader now, he didn't feel good or powerful as he thought he would be, but lonely and lost. Especially since the day he couldn't sense her anymore.  
Kylo didn't know why or how, but the last time the force connected them, he saw her standing in front of him on Pasaana, at the Festival of Ancestors, with a poorly made necklace around her neck.

He asked her why she didn't take his hand, even though he knew she wanted to. Her respond to that was just a question in return.  
"You could have killed me. Why didn't you?"

"You can't hide from me, Rey"

She looked at him fathomless as he continued,  
"Next time I offer you my hand, you will take it!"

Her eyes were like fire, as if he just gave her an challenge ,she answered "We'll see"

And she did. Somehow the bond got cut. It infuriated and worried him at the same time. He send Troops to Pasaana to search for her. But shortly after that he'd got the information about how she and her companions were nowhere to be found. But before giving up he ordered his crew to settle down on Pasaana. At least as long Kylo was sure, she really wasn't findable.

"Where, Rey? Where the fuck are you?"

He opened the drawer where the necklace, which he have grabbed from her before their bond broke, was hidden and wonder how she could've like something this cheap. Kriff he would've give her a better one, if she just had take his hand, if she just would be willing to stand by his side. Pure Vertex or even Aurodium. She could've get anything she want and more. That stupid scavenger girl.

Where could she be? With whom and if she is even healthy or at least alive.

The pure thought of her being sick, hungry or alone and afraid, made him breathe hard and he needed to grab his chest to ease the dreadful pain.

"Rey…?"

A knock on his door brought him back to reality. He threw the necklace back in the corner of his drawer, where no one would ever find it and with a sighed Kylo took a last look in the mirror. The reflecting wasn't as pleasant as he wished for, before he went to the door and opened it for the intruder of his thoughts.

Right in front of him he met with the bored gaze from Armitage Hux. The ginger-head slim and pale man, didn't take long to notice, that he somehow might annoyed Kylo Ren for whatever reason, but decided to ignore it.

With a small smile Hux held up an letter, high enough for Kylo to immediately notice it.  
He whipped it out of his hand and let his eyes look over as the words sink in.

"Hux, what on all planets is that?"

Hux tried not to show his amusement, but failed miserably. Without invitation he stepped in Kylos room and just looked at him for a few seconds.  
With his high pitched and nasally voice he replied,  
"Can't you read? We need rations for our troops. And now, that you are our 'almighty' supreme leader, we need your guidance and organization skills to support our army."

"I understand that, but why are you coming to me? Aren't there people to restock our storage?"

Hux couldn't held his laughter any longer and Kylo glared at him.

"Stop it, why are you laughing?"

"We indeed had one person, but you killed him last week, remember? You were upset cause he didn't bought you the caf with mint flavour."

Kylo just starred at him. Baffled and speechless.

"Oh" was his only respond.

After a few seconds he regained his composure,  
"Then why don't you go shopping instead? Why bother me? Or ask some other of our employees…"

" I can't." Hux interrupted "I need to check on some new candidates for our engineering departments. And before you ask, Phasma just got out of the clinic. A blessing that she is living after that attack." For a short moment Hux seems to be distractet by an painful thought, but after recollecting he continued "Therefore it's only you with enough time to buy us food."

Kylo couldn't believe it.

"No other employees…? Really nobody?"

"No!" Hux answered " And I assume you would just kill somebody who forgot your caf another time, which with all due respect, we couldn't afford any more losses. Especially not for something this unnecessary."

Kriff, he knew Hux was right, especially about that part of him throwing some tantrum over trivialities. Somehow all this must be some kind of prank. It just couldn't be true, that nobody in this facility was able to get some food.  
But apparently it was true. Kylo could sense that his General wasn't lying.

" Okay, listen my dear General, I understand where you are coming from. But how do you think, me the almighty Kylo Ren, the nightmare of the galaxy, could just go to town and buy a whole lot of crap, for some shit underlings, without being detected? Come on,even though the Aki-Aki are peaceful and neutral, but they are more sympathetic with the resistance. They would definitely consider just to eliminate me, before to benefit by the First Order. At least I need alot of troopers around me, so I can shop in peace. But now you just told me, that wouldn't be possible, so how? Tell me, how the fuck I should do that?"

Hux mischievous smile just got bigger on his pale face to a point where it almost frightened Kylo. Hux responded, "I think I've got an idea."

Yes, definitely a shit and fucked up day.


	2. Blonde Hair Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the notes of Prologue chapter.  
> For tips and tricks i will be always thankful.  
> I did indeed wrote the whole story already, but want to wait for a few reviews, for me to learn more about my mistakes.

Pasaana, the desert Planet located in the Middian system was as hot as ever. The natives, the Aki-Aki somehow have learned to live under this tremendous climate conditions. Offworldler would never consider living here for no reason at all, but the peaceful nature of the Aki-Aki and their traditional celebrations attract many different species to visit this from heat overflowing planet. Their most famous event, the Festival of Ancestors had end a few weeks ago and the Aki-Aki got back to their normal daily routines. Dust farming was their main economic activity, but the few remaining tourists were helpful for some extra earnings. And therefore their trading market was huge and full with delicacies from all around the galaxy.   
One stall after another as far as the eye could see and between them a tall, unusual looking person.   
The greenish overall and the orange safety vest seemed to be worn out and to small for his broad shoulders and the blonde hair on top of his head, looked like it wasn't combed in years. Furthermore the pair of glasses were extremly big and covered almost his whole face. In his right hand he was holding a big basket.  
Nervous and slow the person strolled through the market until he halted right before a tent where he scented something familiar.   
As he entered his face got a delightful expression.

"Here it is" he says as he grabbed a bag full of caf with mint flavour.   
He turned to the seller and with a deep voice he asked   
"How much is this? Do you have more?" 

The seller, although unable to respond in the same language, seemed immediately to understand the request this man made. He dissapeared behind a curtain and after a few seconds came back with more bags of caf. With his few fingers he showed the price for each.  
The blonde man paid for six bags immediately and ordered fifty more of different flavors for the crew back on his ship. For a moment the seller looked quite shocked, but seems reminding himself that work is work, even though, supporting the First Order wasn't something he usually does. After promising to deliver the bags at evening, the blond man respectfully bowed and bid his goodbye.

Outside he grinned,  
"Ha, this went kind of smoothly and nobody got killed. Hux will be in for a surprise." 

He stored the six caf bags in his basket and took a look at the list he got from the General.

"Okay, this seems manageable. What should I get first?" 

Here he was, Kylo Ren, disguised as some lowly underling from the engineering department, with a ridiculous itchy wig to hide his black long hair and the most dumbest costume, Hux could've got him.   
"Its the only thing I could find in your size, Kylo." Hux said deadpan, although Kylo knew, as soon as he would be out of sight, Hux would be rolling on the floor, unbearable to hold in his laughter. 

At first he felt kind of embarrassed, but after a while he found that the costume wasn't that bad. To be honest, it was quite comfortable and in this heat much better than the dark suits he usually wears. He also got accustomed to the pair of glasses on his nose, just the wig… the wig was really stupid. It was unbelievable how fucking much it itches, but he wouldn't be Kylo Ren, if he didn't train many years to get his shit together. He will definitely not lose his composure, because of this blonde crap on his head.   
With one last scratch he carried on with his assignments. 

After two hours he was almost done, as something catched his attention. It was another little tent and as he peaked inside he could see ornaments and jewels. He entered and inspect the display with some necklaces. Especially one, was extraordinarily beautiful and eye catching, that he just couldn't stop to stare at it. The seller, an female Aki-Aki gave him a warm smile as she handed him the necklace to examined it further. It was a yellowish diamond, framed with little red crystals arranged in a circle. It reminded him of the sun, but even more of one special person. 

"Rey." 

He felt completely devastated as he laid the necklace back. Distracted by his mission, he almost forgot about her. But now as he saw this piece of jewellery, all his thoughts got back to her. 

Wondering as always where she could be, if she is healthy, if she is alive. He tried so hard to find a connection, repairing the bond between them, but nothing happened. Why did he miss her. It didn't make sense.

"Finn, this is my only chance, don't you understand?" 

Great, now he even imagined her voice, as if she would stand behind him…

Wait, what?

"Rey, it's to dangerous. What if they recognize you, they will kill you on the spot."

Kylo was stunned. This couldn't be true. This must be a dream.

"Come on Finn. I've got the order from General Organa, to go undercover on this ship. Now that they're searching for new technicians, it's a great opportunity."

Kylos heart was beating hard against his chest. He could hear their voices getting closer. In an instant he hid behind a curtain, from which he had just enough overview of the store, as Rey and her 'Friend' entered the tent.

"I give an fuck about what General Organa said."   
He could sense the frustration from the men standing beside her.

"Finn, everything is already clarified."

And this was the first time in weeks he saw her. She was skinnier than before, but her skin significantly more tanned. Her hair was usually tied together in three buns and her face as beautiful and strong-willed as ever. 

He had to pull himself together not to kidnap her on the spot. 

"Its to fucking dangerous! Why can't you see this from my point of view? Rey, if you are going on this ship, I am unable to help you." 

She was quiet for a moment as she marveled over the exact same necklace he held a few seconds before. 

"Let's talk later, okay? I need to find someone, to dye my hair and..."

"No," the man interrupts, "You tell me now. Why? Is it because of him? You want to see him, right? Do you like him?" 

Kylo inhaled sharply. Are they talking about him? He looked at her, but her expression seemed indifferent when she turned to look at the dark skinned man.

"Not your business, that's why." She replied and insisted "It is my mission and I'll do it, with or without your help. The General ordered me to do it and I won't fail her. End of the discussion!" 

"Wow, okay .. okay. I got it. Let's talk later, I understand." Was the defeated reply of her companion. 

He saw how she was smiling warmly as she looked at her friend and it immediately infuriated him.  
She was holding up the necklace,  
"What do you think about this one? It's beautiful, isn't it?" 

The man took one step closer to examine it better, before he responded, "It is, but I don't think it will suit you and furthermore it's too expensive." 

In a brief moment, pain was reflected in her eyes and she turned her head to hide her emotions. But Kylo had seen it, for a split second he could feel it as if their connection was active again.

Irritated her gaze went to the curtain. With sharp eyes she took a step towards it.   
Okay, now he was definitely fucked. Not much longer and she would catch him. His pulse reached a tremendous speed.   
Just in the moment, where he was certain she would find him, the friend called her to show something.

"How's this one?", he asked as she turned her attention back to him and he held up an little ring with a blue stone on its center.  
Kylo exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding. 'Thanks, for saving...fucking traitor'

Rey took the ring out off Finns hand to get a better look at it, emotionless she handed it back. 

"Yes, very beautiful.", she lied, but Finn didn't got the hint. 

"Do you want it? I mean… I would buy it...you know." Finn stuttered and Kylo was nearly on the edge to force choke him right here, right now.  
Rey rolled her eyes unnoticed and shook her head, "No, it's okay. We need to buy some other things as well. We shouldn't waste our money. Maybe we should go back now. I am sure the others are waiting for us."   
A bit saddened he agreed and they bid their farewell to the shop owner as they stepped outside. 

Kylo waited as he was sure they were really gone before he got out from behind the curtain. The Aki-Aki eyed him suspiciously, but didn't said anything. It's as if she completely understood what just happened.   
She got up from her chair and made a step towards him. With a warm smile she took his hand in hers, whereupon he looked at her in surprise.  
No one had ever shown so much compassion for him, it was almost to much to handle. Then he felt something cold between their fingers and as he took a look, he saw the necklace in his hand. 

Overwhelmed by her kindness, he tried to regain his composure, but as he reached for his money, the seller shook her head.  
"No mwanee, pwesent, gurl" She tried to say in his language. 

This was to much, he was on the edge of tears. Unable to speak, he bowed deeply to gesture his thanks, took his belongings and left. 

Outside he promised himself, never to order to extinguish this planet as he made, slow step back to his ship. 

In his mind he repeated of what had happened earlier.  
He'd seen her, clearly and distinctly. She was there, that girl he was looking for like crazy.  
He heard her talking about working on his ship, as...what was it again?   
Well, he'd find out sooner or later.

Absorbed in his thoughts, he didn't notice that he just reached his ship, with Hux standing on the entrance, waiting for him. Only when he was roughly grabbed by the shoulders, did he recognized the carrot-head man. Hux looked at him concerned.

"Kylo, are you alright? Did you got everything?"   
Kylo nodded," Yes, most of the items will be delivered at evening."   
Hux raised an eyebrow and smiled at the contents of the basket.  
"I see that you have stocked up well too. Hm, what's that?"   
Kylo followed his gaze to his hand where he was still holding the necklace.  
Suddenly he had an idea. Excitedly he turned to the General.

"Hux, I guess I'll keep this costume for a while longer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe i will also add some Fanarts over the time. Let me know if you would be interested in something like this.


	3. The new technician

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank the ones who already did leave a comment. They made me really happy :)

"You want to do what?!" 

Hux voice sounded shrill and painful to Kylos ears. Still dressed in his costume, he looked at the other man, whose face turned as red as his hair right at the moment Kylo proposed his idea.

"I want to go undercover as a technician." He repeated calmly.

"Why the fuck you want to do something like that? Really, there couldn't be a explainable reason for it." Hux looked at him with a raised brow.

"There is." He replied annoyed.  
"It would be very beneficial to learn more about my employees and its good for my… my reputation." 

Hux face took on a sceptical expression,  
"Your reputation, really? So you try to make me believe, this is all for your reputation? Are you fucking kidding me? You are the worst spy I know. After one day, everyone will know who you are." 

Now, that made him angry. Okay, he knew himself that he would have to take alot, but how difficult can that be? Most of these underlings don't even know his face and on the market he also remained undetected. He clenched his fists.

"Na na Kylo, I know that face." Hux said, "You want to strangle me now, right? That's exactly why this is a stupid idea. You can't control your emotions at all."

For fucks sake, this asshole knew him far too well. Pouting he turned his head away.  
Hux sighed, " Kylo, we need you in the command center, you cannot simply neglect your other duties…"

"When I had to go shopping you didn't care at all." He interrupted with gritted teeth. 

"So you would have preferred to check out the new employees?" Hux asked sharply.

Kriff, of course not. Conducting endless interviews with complete idiots wasn't something he like to do. Hux was much more patient and friendlier with people. 

"That's what I thought", said Hux after a while when he got no answer to his question.

"I don't have to ask for your permission. I just order you to let me do whatever I want." Kylo answered in anger.

"Well, if you say so." Hux tilted his head and smiled mischievously,"Then I will probably take over the command in your absence?!"

Urg, this guy drives him crazy. But if he wanted to see her, he had to get through it somehow.  
Kylo considered for a moment.  
"Give me a month. I will attend all important gatherings, I'll tell nobody who I am and I will not be caught. A month, just one!"

"And,..." he continued hastily when he saw Hux was about to contradict, "...I'll order to depart from Pasaana. We will all return to the Finalizer. We have to bring the new workers there anyway, don't we?"

That seemed to strike a nerve and after a long pause, Hux finally agreed. 

"Okay, but on your responsibility and I'll put Phasma in knowledge of it. But don't come to us if your so-called reputation cannot be saved. And if you get caught, we'll end your little excursion on the spot." 

Kylo nodded eagerly and with a grin on his face he quickly said goodbye.

…..

Hux just shook his head. With one last look at the blonde-wig man, he thought to himself, what kind of a child Kylo was after all. 

\--------------------------------------------------------

"ALL NEWCOMERS HERE TO ME! Stand in a row so I can look at your shitty faces.", shouted a dark skinned woman sternly at the arriving technicians. Nervousness and excitement could be seen on the faces of the new employees.

Right in the middle and by far the tallest person of all stood Kylo in his technician costume. He looked around and was pleasantly surprised of how many people joined the First Order, even if more for financial than political reasons.  
He tried to find Rey somewhere, but was distracted by the stern woman.

"Welcome to the Finalizer. I am your supervisor Maya Jones, but for you its Mrs. Jones understand? Try not to annoy me with little things and do your job as directed. If you make a mistake, I make a mistake. So you better not do any if you want to keep your ugly head on your neck."  
She looked sharply at each one. Her prejudices were clearly visible on her face.  
Kylo liked her, she was exactly what the First Order needed in an employee. People who discipline others.

"When I call your names, come up and pick your uniforms. Then go to my colleague Tim over there. He will accompany you to your new accommodation. We'll meet here again in exactly one hour for further informations."

She looked at her list and called them up one by one. He tried to look closely at each woman, but couldn't see Rey under any of them. 

"Matt!"

He got nervous at the thought he might have misheard. Maybe Rey wasn't here at all. 

"Matt!" 

Small beads of sweat ran down his forehead.

"MATT!!!!"

There was a huge bang in his ear. Torn from his thoughts, he looked to the side into the furious face of Jones.

"Are you Matt?" She asked, but it wasn't a real question. He followed her gaze to his chest, which had a nametag with the letters MATT on it. 

Stunned he said the first thing that occurred to him,  
"Hi, I'm Matt. I'm a radar technician."

"OH REALLY MATT?", she yelled," Guess what, we all... " she waved around wildly, "...ARE TECHNICIANS. That's what you've been hired for,Matt!" 

Kylo was speechless. Occasionally he heard murmurs and giggles among the employees. He felt his ears got hot.

Jones spoke up in rage,"Really, what's wrong with you? You got Cousins here, don't you? Some Cousin works here who got you this job? Thought you can just go in here, all dressed up in a cheap uniform and everything would be easy for you, right? But listen to me, Matt! The next time I see you, then be prepared for the fact, that I will spank your tiny ass, if I catch you dreaming again, did you understand?"

Kylo swallowed hard and nodded. Did he say he like this woman for her disciplinary nature? He took everything back. She was the devil and he didn't like her at all. 

"Now Matt, grab a new uniform and go to Tim." She rolled her eyes "Gosh, why do they always sending me these idiots?" 

He didn't expect that. As if in trance he took a new uniform in a more suitable size and stood beside the others next to Tim, which gave him a pitiful look.

"Cheer Up, dude!" Tim said with a smile, "She is always this nasty. Don't worry about it." 

"It's just not as easy as I presumed." Kylo replied honestly.  
If he wanted he could get rid of them all instantly. But he had to think about his mission and he didn't want to please Hux either by giving up now. He could already hear Hux voice in his head, "I told you blabla, you can't control yourself blabla, you are the worst spy blabla" 

Suddenly he heard a womans voice that sounded familiar. A slender figure moved from the back rows towards Jones. When she came out, Kylo had to suppress a laugh.  
With black hair, braided on both sides and big round glasses on her nose, stood Rey. 

She was wearing it seems more civilian clothes and not her usual tunic. Just a plain dark green shirt under a red vest and some loose pant in a almost dark red color, which reminded him of wine. Over her shoulders she carried a bag, in which were probably some clothes. She stood out, this much was sure.

It was clear, this girl had never been undercover. Even a blind man could have recognized her. Amused he watched as she picked up her things from Jones and walked up slowly to him. On closer inspection, he saw that she was wearing green contact lenses, but even this couldn't have fooled his eyes.  
Not that he minded, in a strange way it suited her. 

Kylo must have stared at her for quite a while, because she lifted her gaze and looked directly at him. Her eyes widened in suprise.

Could it be that she recognized him too? 

He got a little more nervous than expected. Kylo had just made fun of her in his mind, but what if he wasn't dressed up as well as he'd hoped. After all, they had kind of a connection with each other, didn´t they?

He was about to nod at her, confirming her suspicions, when she exclaimed aloud  
"Gosh, you are huge!" 

What the…?

He barely had a chance to think when she enthusiastically held out her hand,  
"Hey, I'm Niima, you are Matt, right?" She smiled at him.

This reaction was unexpected. Not only did she smiled at Kylo, which by fact, she never had done before ( at least not to him), but her name confused him. Where did he heard that name before?

Then it occurred to him. It was the name where she came from. Niima outpost. Wow, she really was uncreative. It seemed like, she want to get caught by him.

Kylo looked deeply in her eyes. Could that really were her intentions. Did she really wanted to see him? Then why she was hiding somewhere, why didn't she just came to him? Why did she broke the bond?

Rey waved her hand before his face,  
"Hello Mahaaatt, are you there somewhere?" 

"Huh?" was his dumbfounded respond.

"You really are a dreamer aren't you?" she said chuckling.

Was she always this outgoing?

"Right, I'm Matt." he said and held out his hand which Rey grabbed instantly. Hers were warm and soft. She laughed and then turned to the girl next to her, to introduce herself. 

Maybe it's part of her character, which he just never knew.  
Okay, no wonder, most of the times they encountered each other, they always trade bad words and leed toxic conversations.

He watched as she gently reached out her hands to everyone who had come up after them. Kylo wondered if this was her tactic to get information about his ship so she could manipulate it. He knew very well that Rey was a good technician. He saw it in her head when they first met. Little Rey scavenging between old machines from old wars.

His thoughts stopped.  
'Manipulation!!'  
It was as if a curtain had fallen before his eyes. The whole time he thought, she came to him, like her friend suspected, but that wasn't what Rey said herself. She spoke of a mission ordered by his own mother. Now he saw very clearly, it wasn't about him, it was about how she can destroy everything from within.

Kylo felt his stomach contract. What had this girl done to him that he lost sight of the essentials. Anger rose in him. He wasn't going to let her do anything and he even had a decisive advantage.

She didn't recognized him. 

At first Kylo wondered if his face was so ordinary that she could've mistake it for anyone, but now he knew that he'd never left the same impression on her as she did to him.

"Fuck, that hurts" he muttered.  
Rey turned around and looked at him confused.  
"Is everything okay? What hurts you?"  
She came closer again with concern in her eyes. 

Kriff, that made him crazy.  
Otherwise when she'd looked at him there was either hatred and disgust...or disappointment and lost hope.  
She never looked at Kylo the way she looked at Matt now. That radiance that emanated from her, he shouldn't felt drawn to it. 

He was about to give a rude answer when Tim patted him on the back.  
"Hey you two, everyone is here, we are going now." He said, adding a smile,"You really should get into the habit of staying more focused Matt." He went ahead with a wink. Rey laughed. She pulled on Kylos sleeve.  
"Come on Matt, let's go together." 

Oh, he would destroy her. She need to be held accountable for everything.  
For his worries for her.  
For the pain he felt when she encountered his mind.  
For the rejection and for the hope he had.  
And for that smile on her lips. That loving friendly and naive smile.  
It triggered him. He didn't know what that feeling was, but he felt it often when he thought of her.

Silently he followed the group with a hopping Rey next to him.

She kept turning her head as Tim led everyone through the sterile looking corridors. Constantly an "Oh wow" and "Aha" escaped her.  
Kylo was annoyed.  
Why did she do that? After all, she's been on a First Order ship before.  
If that was part of her acting, she was damn bad at it, but who knows what was going on in her head. Well, he might have known if she hadn't cut their connection.  
Worst of all however, was her constant exclamations.  
"Matt, look over there, Stormtroopers!"  
"Matt, what do you think our rooms look like?"  
"Matt, have you always been taller than everyone else?"  
Matt here, Matt there, Matt, Matt, Matt. 

Kylo was about to explode. Why the fuck was she so nice to someone she barely knew?  
He had to do something.  
Something that shut her up.

"What do you think about Kylo Ren?" He finally asked, hoping that it would occupy her enough and then it would be a little quiet.  
Kylo noticed that she stiffened next to him. She lifted her gaze and studied him briefly.  
"I don't know, I've never met him before." She lied, her voice remained expressionless.

It bothered him. Enormously. At least she was a lot quieter and they walked side by side in silence.

After a few minutes, Tim stopped the group. He pointed at a door.  
"Behind there are your rooms. You can get the access number on your datapad, which you can pick up from me. Please put on your uniforms and come back to the meeting point. If you need spare clothes, you can send a request to my datapad. My number is already saved. If you have questions, please contact me." He smiled at everyone.  
"If I now call your names.. " he looked at Kylo for a moment,"...then please come and take your datapad." 

Tim was kind of an incredibly likeable guy.  
Very different from the people of higher rank.  
Kylo wondered if he was the only one surrounded by total assholes, but had to admit that he was one himself.  
At least that's how he's treated.  
He looked down at Rey.

She was still very calm and seemed lost in thought.  
Then she let out a distinct sigh.  
"They have a lot of luxury here and people are starving elsewhere." she said softly.  
Actually so quiet that no one should have heard it.  
But he did.  
There it was again, that feeling that she is all the good and he is all the bad. The feeling that her light is strong and threatened to dazzle him.  
He hated her for it, but still didn't hate her. She made him totally confused.  
Why did she always feel sorry for others? Why did she always have to help others?  
And why did she left, even though she had promised to help him?

But Kylo knew the answers very well.  
She didn't feel compassion for him and her hopes were broken, that he would ever turn to the light again.  
She hated him for what he did to his father.  
She saw in him nothing more than a…

...monster. 

And she was right about that.

That was exactly why he had to prevent her from doing anything. He had to report the spy to Hux and then destroy her.  
His eyes bored into her intensely.  
She looked up at him, cocked her head and asked confused"Is anything bothering you?" She looked over at the others and then back at him.  
"Are you afraid that you will miss your assignment again? Don't worry, I'm with you."  
And then she smiled broadly at him again and was as happy as before.

. . .

Well, maybe he'll watch her first. He could destroy her later.

When 'Matt' was called, Rey took his hand and led him forward. Whistling and smacking noises came from the other employees.  
One said, "Look, our first couple!!" And another, "Well Matt, you're a real ladyboy!".

Kylo felt the heat rise to his head.  
Fuck, that was embarrassing.  
He glanced at them all with hatred, but that only made the situation worse.  
"Ohh, that's so cute, he's getting really red." said a small, somewhat plump woman.  
And Rey, was the worst of them all.  
"I'm only helping him because he's so scared." she said with a smile.

This was too much, he tore himself away from Rey,  
"Damn it, leave me alone." he yelled at her, grabbed a datapad and disappeared behind the door.

With long steps he hurried quickly down the aisle, just wanted to get away from everyone else.

'That's it, I'm giving up. Hux was right and I'm an idiot.', were just a few of the thoughts that crossed his mind.

Behind him he heard steps.  
"Matt, wait!"  
That damned woman.  
Kylos steps became even faster.

"Hey, wait a minute, damn it." she cursed out of breath.  
Apprupt he stopped and she slammed right into his back.

"Ouch fuck, what are you made of? Steel?" she rubbed her nose in pain.  
Well, she deserved that.

"Just leave me alone." he said, his voice trembling.

Why did he sound so weak?

Her eyes looked at him sternly. "No! I will not do that."  
Rey let out a sigh.  
"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to feel humiliated. I just wanted to help you.", she said quietly, he had struggle to understand, "I always just wanted to help you." Her voice became thin and almost vulnerable.

He raised an eyebrow.  
How the hell did she mean that now?  
He really couldn't figured her out.  
Why was she so damn complicated?

He should just kick her off his ship. She could be playing her fucking spying games somewhere else.  
Or he just killed her here and now, then he would never have to worry about her again.  
His thoughts raced and gave him a headache.

Rey paddled back and forth nervously.  
"I know .." she finally began "... that I'm a little forceful sometimes. I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you with that. It was just ...", she seemed to choose her words carefully. "You remind me of someone. That's probably why I clung to you straight away. Please forgive me. " She looked at him pleadingly.

Kylo didn't even know what to say. He found this whole situation so unusual that it kept him completely speechless.

But there was a feeling again. This time different …

How she looked at him with her big eyes which looked so innocent behind the glasses.

Kriff, he founded her cute.

He takes a step backwards.  
"Okay ..." was all he managed to get out before he turned and ran.

His face was glowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, i use a lot of swear words... but please don't expect any smutty content.   
> I am totally helpless with something like that ༼ಢ_ಢ༽


	4. Where are you going?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in this chapter there will be a slightly violent Kylo.  
> But nothing too exaggerated.

His long strides echoed purposefully through the hallways of the Finalizer.  
The black cloak waved ominously behind him and his bare presence gives a shudder to those who crossed his path.  
When he turned a corner, he saw the door, where behind it were problems and headaches waiting for him.  
Nevertheless, he stepped through confidently and walked directly to the window at the end, without greeting those present in the room. 

It was almost quiet in the room, only a few angry murmurs could be heard.  
Ignoring he looked out the window at the sight that was presented to him.

How often has he stand here and thought about how incredibly beautiful this galaxy was and yet so rotten, overrun by anarchist rabble.  
He wanted order to finally reign, so that there can be peace again, but for that you have to destroy everything that wants to prevent this order.

Behind him Hux annoying voice was already sending the first intervals of pain into his head and reluctantly he turned to everyone else, to saw straight into the angry faces of old, corrupt people.

"Now that we are all here, we should begin our meeting." said Hux, nodded briefly and sat down.

Immediately a heated discussion started about the inability to find the hiding place of the resistance. Kylo only half listened.  
In most meetings anyway, Hux was the more cooperative one.

But then the conversations drifted in a different direction.  
"How can you explain the absence of the Supreme Leader, General? With your little vacation, on this weird desert planet, we wasted our time for over a month. Time that could have been used to wipe out the resistance." explained a stern looking man with gray hair, whose name Kylo could never remember.

The others quickly joined in.  
"The Supreme leader was hardly been seen lately."  
"How can we follow or trust such a young person?"  
"Who knows when the resistance strike back!"  
"With this incompetence from above we are lost."

Hux tried to calm the situation down, but was totally drowned in these words of chaos. He looked desperately at Kylo.  
His eyes said "Do something!"

Kylo sighed. His headache was now so strong that he had to use all his strength not to lose control.

He slammed his hands on the table.  
Immediately it went quiet. The tension in the air took everyone's breath away.  
He spoke slowly in a threatening voice  
"Are you questioning my leadership skills, dear Lieutenant?"

Silence

"The fact that the base of the resistance was not found is not due to my absence, it is due to your complete ignorance to execute orders correctly."

Fear

"Do I have to prove my competence to you? Is that really what you want?"

He did lose control.  
The face of the Lieutenant twisted painfully and turned bluish. He panicked as he grabbed his neck and tried to fight against the invisible force that was choking on him.  
Everyone else froze and watched helplessly as Kylo exercised his skills.

He enjoyed how slowly the Lieutenant's attitude towards life disappeared when a strange sound distracted him.

Bing

He let go of the Lieutenant, who collapsed on the ground and quickly gasped for breath. The person sitting next to him hurried to his aid.

Bing

Kylo looked around, confused.

Bing

"What the heck is that?" he roared.

Bing, bing, bing

Hux, who found his voice after what had just happened, pointed to Kylo and said.  
"I think you're beeping, Supreme Leader."

Bing, bing, bing

Kylo looked down at himself and saw something lightning up in his pocket.

He reached for it and his datapad came out, which he was carrying as Matt.

Bing  
A message appeared on the display.

Tim:  
"Matt, where are you, there is pizza in the cafeteria today, hurry up!"

...

"The meeting is over!" he said before quickly stormed out of the room.  
Hux ran after him.  
"Kylo, wait for me. What the hell are you doing?" He asked, after caught up with Kylo.

This did not slow down his steps and Hux got more and more trouble to keep up.  
Weird bing noises continued to come from his pocket.

Finally Hux grabbed his shoulder and forced Kylo to stop.

"Damn it, can you finally tell me what's going on?"

Kylo looked around. Then he raised his datapad and showed it to Hux. The redhead let his gaze wander over it.

"What ... why did you have that? Fifty-six new messages!!! Shit, don't tell me you made friends with some underlings." 

"I didn't want that either, but I was forced." came the helpless answer and it sounded strange under the mask. Hux couldn't believe his ears.

"You were forced? Really ... you?" Hux was horrified.

"Well," Kylo began, "I had to somehow maintain my cover. I couldn't have refused when everyone swapped their numbers."  
and was glad that Hux couldn't see his burning face under the mask.

Bing, bing, bing.

Hux looked at him in amusement.  
"Well and now? Are you going to eat pizza?"

Kylo looked at the news. One particularly caught his eye.

Niima:  
"I was able to get you a piece, come on quickly, Steve is already trying to take it from me."

"Yeah, I think I'm going to eat pizza!" came the answer and even if Hux couldn't see it under the mask, he was sure that Kylo was smiling.

\---------------------------------------------------------

"Do you know what I've been wondering the last few days?" she asked, her mouth so stuffed that he had trouble understanding her.  
They sat across from each other in the cafeteria.

After saying goodbye to Hux, he quickly slipped into his 'Matt' costume and went where his news was leading him.

Rey stared at him with serious eyes.

"No, what?" came his answer, a little confused.

"Where do you always go in the evening?"

Kylo was surprised, he didn't exactly know how to understand this question, but Rey kept digging.

"Well, in the evening, I always see you sneaking around in the hallways."

"I don't understand exactly what you mean Niima." he replied honestly.

Kylo tried to figure out her questions and then it finally occurred to him.  
She spoke of the cabins in which the employees live.

After he left Rey in the corridor three days ago, to hide his glowing face, he saw the cabins for the first time and only had one thought.

'Forget it, I don't sleep here.'

These cabins were so tiny, almost his entire body filled it entirely and he could not imagined stay there longer than necessary. That's why he returned to his own chamber in the evening after the group meeting.  
The two days after he did the same.  
Rey seemed to noticed that. 

Kylo didn't even know how he could have explained that to her.  
Rey was still looking at him. 

"Ehh, I … I couldn't sleep. So I went for a little … walk!" He answered hesitantly. 

Rey raised an eyebrow.  
" All night?"

Oh fuck, she was really persistent.

"Matt, our womanizer here, I'm sure he visit his girlfriend at night." a voice rang out next to them and both turned their heads towards the man who had joined them. Tall with brown, slightly curly hair and blue eyes and by far the whitest teeth Kylo has ever seen. He tried to remember the name

'Was it Roger or George?'

Rey stiffened slightly at the sight of the man. She greeted him with a pained smile.  
"Hey Gregory!"

Well, almost correct.

"Hey Niima!" said Gregory, showing his dazzling smile even wider.

"I see you two talking to each other again, it was a really nice scene that you two showed us." Gregory laughed.

"I already apologized to Matt, so no more reason to think about it. Or Matt?" Rey said trough gritted teeth.

Kylo nodded in confirmation, but was actually totally confused.  
He noticed that Rey treated this Gregory at least as coldly as she treated him when he ... well ... is not Matt.

It was true, that after seeing Rey again at the group meeting, he preferred to ignore her. Also, he didn't want to be yelled at by Jones again either. 

As he remember, he actually didn't speak to her,until she freed him from Jones diabolical lesson. 

~~  
"Okay,okay, it's real easy, all you've gotta do is rewire the calcinator." Said Jones, while Kylo was kneeling on the floor in front of a hatch in which, at least for him, was only a complete mess of cables.

He had absolutely no idea what Jones meant and just grabbed the first thing that caught his eyes.  
"So remove ...this?" He asked nervously.

"Does that look like the calcinator? Really, what's wrong with you? Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

"I don't know, but would you please stop yelling at me? You are start to stress me out!" He replied perky and annoyed.

After that she complained about how she didn't had her muffin yet and that he should hurry up. Almost on the verge of choking her to death, a soft voice interrupted them both. 

"Mrs. Jones, let me help him and you can take your break."  
Rey stood next to them and gave them a friendly look.

"Ah Niima honey, that sounds like the perfect plan. I hope you don't despair with that one ... he's stupid" said Jones disapprovingly.

Kylo clenched his fists, his fingernails digging into the inside of his palms. Needing the pain to control himself.

A small hand gently grabbed his shoulder and he looked straight into Reys face.  
"Everything's okay, Matt. Jones is gone." she sighed, "This woman really is the devil"

His anger was instantly gone. He could only saw Rey, with her smile and her tiny hand caressed his back.

Unable to thank her, he nodded, but it seemed enough for her to understand him.  
"Nothing to thank for." and then she beamed at him with her broadest smile, while Kylo had the feeling, his heart was about to explode.  
~~

"Matt? Hey,Matt! Clearly he's dreaming again" 

Confused Kylo looked up, several pairs of eyes fixed on him. He noticed that Tim and Steve (as far he remembered) had joined them, Gregory still sitting next to him with a look of amusement.

"What's happening?" 

Tim laughed out loud.  
"Man, Matt. You should concentrate more. Gregory here thinks you go out at night to see your girlfriend, is that true?"

What, no ...I...no" he stuttered, looking helpless at Rey, but her expression was blank.

"Is she one of the top ranks?" Steve asked with his mouth full of food.

"I wouldn't have thought, you could do that."

"Does she have a few nice colleagues that she would like to introduce to us?"

Kylo was overwhelmed and didn't even know what he should say to that much of stupidity.  
How did people always get such thoughts?  
But the strangest thing, was the reaction of the only girl at the table. The longer he was pestered with questions, the more aggressively she stuffed her mouth with pizza. Kylo wasn't sure if she even could swallow that much at once.

With a pat on his shoulder Gregory continued with an almost mocking tone  
"You're a real womanizer. No offense, but you don't look like that at all. Even Niima here seems to have an eye on you."

Rey's head snapped up with cheese still stuck to her cheek.  
"That ... I didn't have that at all" her voice cracked.

Gregory cocked his head and smiled unusually. Kylo got more and more the feeling something was wrong with this guy.

"So, yesterday you told me you already liked someone and you wouldn't go out with me because of that. So you weren't talking about Matt?"

Rey's head turned red. She looked down, ashamed.  
"Not your business!"

Kylo now understood the problem. This Gregory was jealous and very offended in his pride, because Rey gave him the cold shoulder.

Well, she was pretty enough, even in that costume, to attract attention.  
If he thought about it further, then Gregory's feelings weren´t so strange to him.  
After all, hadn't Rey treated him like that too?

But of course, his motives and Gregorys were completely different from one another.

Tim noticed the change in mood and raised his hands soothingly.  
"Well, come on Gregory, leave the girl alone, everyone has the right to a bit of privacy." he said calmly, "Except for Matt of course." he added with a laugh. "Now tell me what you're up to? Are you really going to a girl?"

All eyes were on him again, but more interested than before.  
Kylo sighed, he could hardly believe that these people were so keen on rumors.  
"No, you're wrong. I don't have a girlfriend. I just really couldn't sleep and stretched my legs.

"Then don't worry, we'll find you a cute girl you can spend the night with. Mister. 'I can't sleep at all'." said Tim amused and the other guys were laughing out loud.

The loud clank of her glass, let them went all silent, as Rey stood up abruptly and with a hard judgemental gaze, bid them farewell.  
"My break is over, I'll see you guys later.",  
then she hurried away.  
Kylo's eyes followed her, until the last bit of her appearance disappeared behind the next door.

"Probably the conversations were uncomfortable for her," said Tim and then shrugged his shoulders.  
"Well, nobody can blame her, can they?"  
Gregory let out a loud snort.  
"I don't think she's as innocent as she pretends to be."

"What do you mean Greg?" Steve asked.

Gregory leaned forward slightly and said in a mysterious voice  
"Well, haven't you seen how she treats the others? She's making at everyone goo-goo eyes, and my goodness, you've actually checked her ass. Believe me, women with such a body, they only want one thing."

Kylo froze. This Gregory was a really disgusting and greasy guy.

"Oh come on, you're just pissed that she didn't let you touch her, Greg. Didn't you just had something with the little blonde from the laundry department the other day?" asked Tim, looking half skeptical, half amused. 

Gregory's grin turned dirty.  
"Ha, she was just another bunny on my list."

"Haha, you're a real bastard." Steve added, but clearly didn't meant it as an insult.

"Little Niima will soon be crying her eyes over me too, just wait and see" and then Gregory laughed loud. 

What a bastard!  
Kylo couldn't take any of this shit any longer.

With one hand under the table, he turned his mind to the creep next to him.  
Gregory's breathing became heavier and a rattle escaped his throat. Desperation showed on his face.  
The other two immediately jumped up.  
"Oh no, he's choking on food," stated Kylo deadpanned. 

He pretended to pat Gregory on the back to help, but was actually sending more painful waves through his body. Kylo knew he could just crush the internal organs and kill that asshole on the spot.  
He leaned slightly forward, for Gregory only to hear his voice  
"I can see whats in your mind, and it´s stupid!"

Gregorys face went all blue, then slowly and gradually paler, as he passed out as soon Kylo let go of him.

Steve and Tim rushed to him immediately. Other employees called the paramedics.

Kylo got up from his seat and walked slowly out of the canteen.

He decided his break was over as well

\---------------------------------------------------------

At the end of his shift he went, as always, to the small room that was prescribed for him as an employee, to put his tools away.  
Kylo was tired.  
Hux had been sending messages constantly, to inform him, knowing about his little outburst in the canteen.  
It didn't occur to Kylo, how Hux has heard about the Gregory incident, but suspected that the ginger-head had only added one to one together.

As he turned the corner, the tiny figure of Rey suddenly blocked his way. He paused in surprise. With a sharp gaze and her arms crossed she looked at him.  
"Are you going to go for a walk again tonight?" 

Why was she so interested in it?

"Actually, I don't know why that concerns you," he said.

"You're my colleague, of course I'm interested. If you can't sleep, then you dream even more during the day."

He took a few steps towards her and looked down. She was really small.

"I understand what you mean, but it doesn't explain to me why you are so preoccupied with what I do and above all, how do you even know? Are you watching me?" he asked, not angry, just curious.

"Well, for me, it's just weird that my neighbor disappears at night. Especially you. You make the most common mistakes of all and get constantly in trouble. In the end they'll fire you."

Kylo couldn't read her expression. He also didn't understand why she was worried about him ... no, not him, but Matt  
Then he remembered something she was saying,

"Nei...Neighbours?"

She pointed to a door behind her with a finger.  
"Yes, neighbors, Matt, please don't tell me that you had no idea who was occupying the room next to you. That's really rude to your colleagues."

"I haven't thought about it." he admitted.

"You mister, really are a loner, aren't you?" she threw her hands up.  
"You are absolutely right, it is actually none of my business. Just try to leave your room more quietly, because others try to sleep in the evening." then she turned and stomped off to her room.

When she opened her door she glanced at him briefly, then stuck out her tongue and disappeared.

Kylo stared at her locked door for a while longer.  
'Neighbours?' 

A little confused, he went into the small room. He threw his wig in the corner and sat on the narrow bed with his head in his hands and tried to think.

Her behavior was an absolute mystery to him. Something triggered him, but he couldn't describe what that was.

He was acting so atypically, so strange.  
Whenever she looked at him, his heart skip a beat and when he was around her, he felt like a little boy, naive and transparent.

Moreover, he heard only good things about her from everyone else.  
How quickly she fixed things.  
How friendly and helpful she was.  
How well she could listen.

But he knew it was only part of her acting.  
Everything she did was only used to manipulate others and yet ...

The glow of the display on his datapad distracted him.  
He was looking at a message from Hux.

Hux:  
"You are not in your room, are you still snooping? We need to talk about what happened! Also Phasma's boys want to celebrate her return, do you want to join them for a drink?"

Kylo thought about it for a few seconds. When he wanted to answer Hux, about accepting his offer, a new Message appeared.

Niima:  
"Sorry about earlier. I just wanted to say that if you can't sleep, well, you can always talk to me. Maybe that might help you...  
so only if you want, of course. What I actually want to say is ...  
I am happy that you are my neighbor."

Several minutes passed before he was able to free his eyes from the message.

He sent a quick note to Hux.

Matt:  
"You bastard, where did you even got the number of this datapad from? Anyway, tell Phasma I can't today."

He looked around in the room.  
It didn't seem that tiny anymore and actually the bed was comfortable enough. He layed down on it and stared at the ceiling.

Actually it wasn't that bad. He'd be fine for a month.

Kylo picked up the datapad again and couldn't suppress the smile on his lips.

》》

In the next room, Rey sat on the floor and waited. She kept staring nervously at the display. The sudden 'Bing' made her jump up and she hastily looked at the message that had just arrived.

Matt:  
"I am also pleased."

She smiled.


	5. Kylo Ren is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For your information: Blood will be mentioned in this chapter. Just a little.

"Did you hear that from Gregory? It said he was fired."  
"What, why? Did he do something?"  
"Someone said, he had molested some female employees."  
"Then he deserves it, in my opinion"  
"Shh...Be quiet. There comes the Supreme leader."

It was always the same. How they fell silent around him, how they tried to disappear from his field of vision, how they stooped in the hope that they would not attract his attention.  
And he admitted ... it pleased him. That feeling of superiority was exactly what he was here for, after all.  
And today he was in a good mood.

The rumors about Gregory made their happy rounds and what others might find as heavy breathing that came from under the mask, was actually his incessant laughter.

Of course, he immediately made sure that this filthy asshole lost his job. If it hadn't been for Hux, he would have long split Gregory in two, but the redheaded general was able to stop him and continued all further trials in the absence of Kylo.

Well, he shouldn't care, he would never see this Gregory again anyway.

"I told you, if someone finds out who you are, your expedition is over, so control yourself." Hux told him after Kylo had explained his reasons for the incident in the canteen.

Well, that he got mad, because of the sexist comments about Rey, he kept for himself. After all, Hux didn't need to know that.  
At least he got away with it in the end, mostly because Gregory hadn't been able to put one and one together, to identify him as Kylo Ren. So there was no reason for Hux to prevent him from continuing his mission.

However, in the future, he should better focus on maintaining control. After all, he still hasn't figured out what Rey was up to.  
He sighed.

Maybe he should start thinking about her less?

He caught himself disappearing into daydreams more and more often. His thoughts filled with her smile, her voice, those big eyes that often looked at him so intensely, her little nose that wrinkled up so nicely when she found something particularly amusing, and her freckles, where he felt the need to count them individually.

Kylo was sure that in all the cycles of his life he had never felt this way.  
It would certainly be a good idea to see a doctor. Unhealthy, he ran the risk of someone contesting his position.

"He is kind of ... hot. Don't you think there's something incredibly attractive about that mask?" A woman's voice tore him from his thoughts.  
"I wonder what it looks like underneath. Have you ever seen him walking around without it?"

Kylo looked in the direction of two women who were crossing his path in the hallway. After they noticed him watching, they walked faster and disappeared around the next corner.

How uncommon.

Somehow he had the feeling that something was wrong. Attractive or hot was not the words with which he would describe himself. Scary, mighty, strong would be more to his taste.

Shrugging, he continued on his way.  
Actually, he couldn't care less, but he felt a bit flattered.

But there was no time for that, because Phasma and Hux were waiting for him and he could do better without an annoying moral sermon from the ginger head.

"Ah Supreme Leader, it's been a while since I've seen you." Phasma said, as soon as he entered the command center. With her armor, she appears at least as intimidating as himself. 

Kylo nodded "It's good to see you healthy Phasma. We missed your competent demeanor and guidance."

"Too much of the good words Supreme Leader. Our dear General here told me about you little...activities."  
She crossed her arms.  
"For how long are you doing this now?" 

Hux answered before he even understood the question correctly.  
"Just four fucking days, Phasma...four!! Since then six machines broke down, two were set on fire and we have one less technician. I am surprised that he hasn't been exposed himself yet."

"That's longer than you thought, isn't it? You said I could only last a day." replied Kylo offended.

Hux sighed exaggeratedly loud.  
"You really don´t get the point. do you? Your absence is quite annoying."

Phasma nodding in agreement.  
"The general is right, Ren. You were gone for weeks before. Hux doesn't even want to tell me why. And now you're doing something like that."  
"The General Council is constantly complaining to me, Kylo, we have to make a decision." added Hux.

What kind of decision?  
Kylo observed both of them.  
Phasma's reactions, like his, were undetectable under the mask, but Hux seemed as if he couldn't bring himself to say something in particular.  
Kylo couldn't quite understand what their problems were. He jumped back and forth for days, to be able to take part in all important conferences and that his disguise, as Matt was still not exposed.

Okay, everyone believed that the technician was suffering from chronic diarrhea, but he had to say something so that nobody interrogated him.

Hux and Phasma were still waiting for an answer.

"What exactly is on your mind?"  
His head began to hurt again.  
He personally called this the Hux-Effect.

Phasma began to speak first.  
"We thought about sending you on vacation."

"You want ... what?" 

"Give you the month of vacation. Well, not really, primarily we don't want you to be around us all the time rushed and stressed." said Hux, taking on his usual bored expression.

"What, why? I was always there as we agreed, I worked my ass off to do all my duties. I have been jumping in circles for four days and..."

"... and what did you do yesterday? In the canteen? Who do you think, back up for you? For weeks, you are unusually and always elsewhere in thoughts. And all that because of this gi..." Hux got no further. Kylo was there with one big step and violently covered his mouth, which evoked a whimper.  
Phasma tried to step in, but before she could get a chance to intervened, Kylo threw her forcefully against the wall.

The room fell silent.  
He felt an irrepressible heat slide through his body that seemed to numb his ears.  
Others in the room seem only now to have noticed that something was wrong. Perplexity was evident on their faces as they looked at their leader.

With desperation in his eyes, Hux tried to free himself from Kylo's grip.  
But Kylo was stronger.  
He had always been stronger.

Hux breath left a sweaty film on his gloves.  
He couldn't care less.  
He leaned forward and looked at the slim man in the eye.  
The fire inside, still burning.  
"No other word, Hux. Or I'll wipe out your little miserable life."

Hux nodded without hesitation and Kylo finally let go of him.

The red-haired man gave him an impenetrable look as he rubbed his mouth and jaw to get rid of the uncomfortable tension.

Kylo stared at his hands for a moment. What an unsympathetic guy he was.  
It wasn't surprising, that no one wanted to take his hand when it was so poorly under control.  
Just like his emotions.

He looked at Hux and Phasma, who was still getting to her feet.

"I'm taking the month off." He said with a little nod, turned, and hurried out of the control room.  
\---------------------------------------------------------

"Yo, what's up, Matt?" Said a stormtrooper as he passed Kylo, who was kneeling in front of another hatch where he was supposed to replace the cam gear if he only knew what it was.

The soldier stepped on some of his tools.  
"Hey, you kicked my wrench!" Kylo yelled, but the stormtrooper disappeared laughing.  
"Jerk face." he muttered.

It was only two days since he had an argument with Hux and since then he's only been out as Matt. It was relaxing, on the one hand, not to keep changing costumes, but the fact that he didn't have the slightest technical experience got him into a lot of trouble.

He stretched and rubbed his neck.  
Besides, he didn't sleep very well in that small room and had to always train for some time in the morning, to get rid of the tension in his back.

But when he's on his way to work in the morning, he often saw Rey come out of her room. She always smiles broadly and exchanges friendly words with him. And for that reason, the effort was worth it.

With a quick look at his datapad, he realized that he still had to work half an hour before he was allowed to take his first break.  
This job was really tough.  
Kylo found whole new respect for what his employees do.

Carefully he saw if there were other people in the corridor before reaching out and using Force to let his wrench fly into his hands.  
With a sigh, he examined the tool.  
If power were always that simple.  
How great would that be?

"It is said, that Kylo Ren is on a mission. He will probably be gone for several weeks." He heard a few soldiers talking, as they came around the corner.  
Rumors on this ship seemed to get around really quickly.  
"What? That's great. Whenever he's gone, everything is much more relaxed," replied the other.  
Kylo twisted his face.  
"In any case, we should take advantage of his absence. How about a little party in the training room?" suggested a third.

How disrespectful.

"Hey, you shouldn't talk about your boss like that!" he snarled.

Confusion spread across their faces. They came closer and surrounded him.

"Look at that idiot. Tell me what kind of guy are you? Kylo Ren number one fanboy?"  
They barked out laughing.  
Kylo continued to look at them intensely.  
"Come on, are you in love with our Supreme Leader? You will surely find the mask very hot."

He felt anger rise in him.  
'Control yourself, control yourself.' he repeated in his head like a mantra.

Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head. One of those assholes had hit him with the handle of her blaster.  
Another took advantage of his confusion and rammed his knee with full force into him.  
Immediately Kylo sank to his knees and held his aching stomach.  
His blood began to boil, sheer hatred and contempt spread inside him.  
He screwed up his eyes.  
'Control yourself, control yourself.'

"Do you still have that big mouth?"

His vision blurred more and more before his eyes.  
'Control yourself, control yourself!'

"Look at that fucking loser!" 

'Control yourself ... oh fuck you!'  
He grabbed the soldier by the collar. Lifted him and threw him against the opposite wall. The soldier collapsed on the ground.  
Their laughter died away immediately and they withdrew in horror.

"Shit man are you crazy?"  
They pointed their blasters at him.  
His mind reached out to them and let them crashed into another.  
One passed out right away, the other stumbled slightly.  
Without pause, Kylo threw his fist directly into the soldier's face. The mask cracked under the enormous strength and a young face appeared.  
With eyes widened in shock.

But Kylo didn't care. He wanted to see blood. He wanted to see death.

He kept hitting the boy. The screaming grew louder and louder.  
Despair.  
Fear.  
Horror.  
But Kylo didn't stop. The boy's blood kept dripping from his nose and mouth.

"MATT, STOP THAT!" 

He struck even harder until the one beneath him knocked out.

"FUCK, STOP MATT, PLEASE STOP!"

Two thin arms wrap around him and pulled him backward.  
He lost his balance and was pushed to the ground. Before he could react, Rey's face appeared above him.

She was crying and the big drops gathered on the inside of her glasses.

Kylo just stared at her. The anger in him was followed by deep despair.  
He felt his eyes burn.

Rey caressed his cheeks with her tiny, soft hands.  
"What are you doing, you idiot?" she said soothingly and comforting.

He wasn't worth her sympathy. Not her help, not her worries.  
The impact of his actions ran down like a waterfall over her hands.

He couldn't remember the last time he cried.  
Was it when he killed his father?  
Was it when Snoke mocked him that he couldn't kill his mother either?  
Was it when Rey left him alone on Crait with his father's dice in his hands?

He didn't care when it was because now he was crying bitterly.

She pulled him a little, honestly, and then hugged him.  
"There, there. Everything is fine, everything is okay" she said, patting his back lightly.  
A loud sob escaped his throat and he buried his head in the crook of her neck.

Shameful.

With trembling shoulders, he embraced her and let himself carried away by her quiet, consoling voice.

"Matt, look at me!" she said after a few minutes and gently released the hug to force him to look at her. His sadness caused a damp stain on her uniform. 

"Matt, please tell me what happened."

The soldiers around him were still unconscious on the ground.  
He remained silent.  
She got up and sighed.  
His eyes followed her moves as she entered something into her datapad.  
"Come on let us go." She held out her hand to help.

Befuddled he stared at her.  
Seeing her like this, he remembered all the times she refused to accept him. But now she didn't offer Kylo Ren her hand, she offered it to Matt and he accepted it.

\-----------------------------

They walked side by side in silence. Still holding his hand in hers and led him purposefully through the hallways.  
After a while, she stopped in front of a door and opened it.  
He noticed that they've arrived at the paramedic room.

"Sit down there!" she ordered in a certain but friendly tone.  
"We need to check your hands!"

Unable to contradict, he did as he was told.

He watched her look for bandages. When he noticed that she was having trouble finding it, he spoke.  
"You can find disinfectant and plasters in the cupboards in the upper right corner."

She nodded to him with a small smile and came back with a few things.  
"Show me your hands" 

He held out his bloodied hands to her and it struck him for the first time that they had split open in some places.

He observed how she carefully cleaned the wounds and tried to ignore the burning of the disinfectant.

As she wrapped a bandage around it, she finally spoke.  
"Would you tell me what happened?"  
Her face took on a serious expression.

"They made fun of the Supreme Leader." he finally admitted.

Rey blinked a few times.  
"That ... is rude ... I guess?" Then she shook her head.  
"And because of that, you beat others up? Matt, I am genuinely shocked!"

Kylo felt the need to justify himself.  
"Well, he is our boss after all. And he is strong and ... I heard from someone who saw him in the showers. He said that Kylo Ren had an eight-pack, that he was shredded!"

Urg!  
Why the heck did he say that?

Rey's cheeks turned red and he felt his ears got hot.

"I know!" she said quietly.  
In fact, so quietly that he had barely understood her.

"How? You said you don´t know him!"

Right it that moment he remembered something... Something he had ignored before.  
When Rey was being trained by his uncle on this puny island, they were connected once while he was...changing his clothes.  
He buried his burning face in his bandaged hands.

"Well," she began. "Of course I don't know him ... really, that ... from where? ... Ahaha."  
Her voice had taken on a hysterical tone.  
"I just think you could be right... because he's ... a warrior. A Knight of Ren, right? So it would be ... not uncommon for him ... well ..." Her glasses turned foggy.

"What's not uncommon?" He interrogated her, even though he sensed how uncomfortable she was with this conversation.

Somehow he was starting to like that.  
Her little sideways glances at him.  
How she bit her lip nervously.  
The way she tugged her sleeves and rubbed the fabric between her fingers.  
He liked the whole burst of emotion she showed in the presence of Matt.

"That he ... is well trained!" she said hastily, hiding her face behind her hands.

Kylo grinned.  
"What's so funny about it?" she asked, peeking through her fingers.  
He couldn´t help barking a burst of laughter at the strangeness of her voice.

"Stop it, that's not funny, why are you asking such embarrassing things?" but then she started laughing herself.  
And it was contagious.

After a while, she looked at him more calmly, still with a slight smile on her lips.  
"That suits you better, you know?"

"What exactly do you mean?"

She raised her hands to his face. For a brief moment, he thought, she wanted to caress him again, but then suddenly she pulled at his cheek.

"Ah ouch, what are you doing? That hurts!" 

A wide grin appeared on her face.  
"You have a great smile!"


	6. Fanclub

His expression showed some skeptical concerns as he examined the brownish contents of his mug and carefully sniffed it. Contrary to his intuition, he took a sip, only to grimace in disgust immediately.

"Who on all the planets drinks something like this?" he muttered to himself quietly.

"You're pretty picky, don't you think?"  
He looked up to meet Rey's fake green eyes.  
"I've just tried better types of caf, that's all," he replied sullenly.

"So? Which ones? I honestly don't know any! Where I'm from there was just a normal caf without particular flavors."

As so often in the last few days, they sat across from each other in the canteen. It was somehow a silent agreement between the two of them, that they always kept the other company and whoever showed up in the canteen first automatically kept a seat free for one another.  
Which was much easier for him than it was for her.  
People avoided him and his grumpy demeanor as much as possible, except for Tim and Steve maybe ... luckily, he didn't see them too often.  
But with her, the table was always full. She just magically attracted people and he could hardly blame her.  
She was friendly, laughed a lot, was funny, and most of all, she was pretty.  
Still, it had annoyed him somehow, which is why he always tried to show up before her. After all, it was easier to interrogate her without others being present.

Rey was still looking at him. He cleared his throat.  
"Well, Mint-Caf, for example, it's really good!"

Instantly he thought of the several caf-bags up in his chambers. A pity, he didn´t take them with him. Due to his "Vacation", he couldn´t show himself on the upper decks and as a simple technician now less than ever.

"Mint Caf? Isn't that one of the most expensive stuff? You really have to be envied when you know something so delicate."

Kriff, of course, she had noticed that some didn't get a lot of credits in this job. But what kind of story should he tell her without sounding like a spoiled child?  
Luckily the sudden 'Bing' of his datapad saved him from an explanation.

With curiosity, she leaned over the table to get a better look, but he held her back with one hand.  
"Hey, I want to see something too," she moaned against the palm of his hand.  
"This is private!" he replied and scanned the message.  
It came from Hux.

Hux:  
"My Office! Immediately!"

Kylo sighed.  
What did Hux think who he was talking to? He got up slowly and picked up his meal tray.

"What? You have to go already?"  
She sounded a little sad, he thought, but only almost.

"Yes, I have to go. Was ordered by the general."

"Because of the stormtroopers?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Possibly. I have to go now."

"Okay, but what if you get fired? Do you want me to come with you?"

If he didn't know better, he would think she was worried, but he suspected that she only sensed a chance to get to the upper docks.

"No, it's okay, it won't be bad," he forced a small smile.  
"Okay ... let that go, I'll take it away for you." she pointed with her finger at his meal tray. He nodded.  
"Thank you, I appreciate that."

He raised his hand in goodbye and was just walking through the door when he heard her voice from behind him.

"Matt!"

No sooner, had he turned around, that he felt her thin arms around his waist and he stumbled back a step through the weight of her body.

"Uh Niima ... uh? What ...? He stammered.  
What did that suppose to mean?

He stared down at her with his hands in the air.  
The warmth of her body burned deeply into his chest and for a moment it took his breath away. A sweet smell, like a Kibo plant, penetrated his nose, and an urge to bury his face in her hair to inhale more of it, he suppressed compulsively.

Did she always smell like that?  
He believed his mind was playing a trick on him and he felt getting hotter as a feeling of dizziness spread.

Some people started whispering and pointing their fingers at them.

For outsiders, they had to deliver a strange picture. How she rubbed her face against him and he, aware of his inability to return her physical contact, stood there helplessly.  
His cheeks burned and he was sure, that he could compete with a Blumfruit.

"You're coming back, aren't you Matt?" She mumbled into his uniform.

"Uh, of course ... I guess?" he replied uncertainly.  
Rey looked at him in dismay.  
"I'm serious, Matt! Promise you'll come back!"  
What the hell was wrong with her?  
What was she so afraid of?  
Why was she so difficult to understand?  
Everything about her, every one of her actions ... it irritated him.

He looked her deep in the eye, hoping to find something in them. But only a pleading, desperate look came towards him.

"Okay, I promise! But could you let go of me? People are already staring at us." he said with a slightly embarrassed sigh.

She pulled away from him and her big smile made his heart beat a little faster.  
"See you later then!" she said happily and then jumped off down the hall.

Another beep distracted him.  
Hux grew impatient.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head disapprovingly before he took one last look down the hallway, in which Rey was no longer to be seen when he finally made his way.

It was time to teach the general some manners again.

\----------------------

The redhead was waiting for him in front of his office with anger all over his face and impatient tapping feet.  
"Get in there immediately!"

"Did I ever tell you that I hate it when you give me orders?" said Kylo as soon as he was in the room. Hux closed the door behind him.  
"And didn't I tell you not to make such a fuss?" countered Hux.  
Kylo shrugged.  
"It's not that these bastards didn't deserve it."

Hux's face turned an almost unhealthy red that bit strangely against his hair.  
"Are you actually still in your right mind? Phasma almost tore my head off because I endured your fucking idea! What were you thinking?"

"So now it's my Idea? Weren´t you the one, who forced me in that fucking costume and let me run errands for these creep shit of people?"

"I didn't order you to go undercover for a month, neglect your chores, beat the shit out of some soldiers, and flirt with little technicians!"

Kylo's eyes widened.  
"What?"

"I had to justify myself to everyone why I hired someone like you and didn't fire you right away. Damn man, why can you never control yourself?" Hux roared so loudly that it would be no surprise if the whole ship could hear him. But Kylo was just not interested in whether anyone overheard this lecture. Rather, he was fixated on what Hux had just said earlier.

"What did you just say?" he asked and was surprised how deep his voice sounded in his own ears.  
The ginger head also seemed amazed for a moment, because he repeated the words more uncertainly and calmly.  
"Why can you never control yourself?"

"No, that before!" It was uncomfortable in a way, how his heart started beating.  
"How do you know about it?"

Hux's stable posture slumped slightly.  
"About what?"

"How do you know about the girl?" Kylo asked, ignoring the furious emotion, that rose inside him.

If Hux really didn't know what it was about beforehand, he seemed to have understood it now, because a downright mischievous smile played on his lips.  
"Would you rather tell me who doesn't know? After all, the whole ship is already talking about it."  
Kylo gave Hux a piercing look, but couldn't see a lie on the General's face.  
"Wh...What do you mean?"

A brief scornful laugh escaped Hux's throat before he pulled out his datapad with an elegant gesture, activated a hologram, and held it directly under Kylo's nose.  
What he saw on it took his breath away.  
It was a recording of him being hugged by Rey, repeating over and over again.  
"How...?"

"You should read all the comments first!" said Hux with clear satisfaction in his voice.

"The technicians have a new couple."  
"Gosh, these two are a perfect match!"  
"Glasses woman loves glasses men!"  
"It's so cute how embarrassed he looks!"  
"The little one has a nice ass!"  
"Really, find a room!"

And many more messages were floating across the display. Kylo couldn't believe it.

In all the years in the First Order, it never occurred to him, how many idiots there were on those ships.

As Matt, he discovered a whole new world. He saw up close, the stupidity and audacity of the people, but also compassion, friendship, and joy.  
Although they were in the middle of a conflict with other worlds and a battle could break out at any time, people never lost their laugh, their love, their courage.

He envied them, those guys who patted each other amicably on the shoulder and laughed at each other's jokes. Those women, who put their heads together, whispered and giggled boldly.  
The couples who secretly glanced at each other and sent little signs with their hands.

They were all so ... free.

Something he didn't know. He had no friends, no joy, no love. He was darkness, hatred, and corruption.

He didn't have anyone. He was alone.

The hologram was still playing the scene between him and Rey.  
Strangely enough, his chest ached the longer he stared at it, and a tremor penetrated his body.

He looked at Hux, whose smile had given way to a serious expression.  
"Kylo, you should maybe give up. I know we said you should take your time then, but at what price? It's just a matter of time, for you being detected... and then? What do you think about what will happen then?" "

Of course, it was clear to him that with every further loss of control, the last fool on the ship would find out who he really was.  
Could he really endure this humiliation?  
But...

_> I'm serious, Matt! Promise you'll come back!<_

He shook his head  
"I can´t!"

"And why not? What else do you want to destroy?" Said Hux with an almost mirthless expression, but there was something else, more unreadable.

_> I'm serious, Matt! Promise you'll come back!<_ Her voice keeps echoing through his head.

"I just can't! Not now!" Kylo replies unnecessarily more annoyed than intended.

"Then this is your last chance," warned Hux and added with a grin,  
"Who would have thought that you of all people could develop such feelings?"

"What do you mean?"

The smile on Hux's face disappeared.  
"You ... you don't know what I mean? Don't you know the concept of love?"

A shrug was the answer.  
Hux came a step closer and practically rubbed the datapad in his face.  
"Are you sure? You have no idea what I mean?

Confused, Kylo stared again at the hologram.  
What was Hux getting at?  
When it came to determining, whether he understood the principle of love, the answer was: Yes, of course!  
After all, he wasn't blind to recognizing a couple when they stood in front of him. Just as he had recognized Hux and Phasma immediately, even if they would never admit it publicly.

But he didn't like the way Hux was looking at him.  
As if Kylo was the dumbest being in the galaxy ...

"Really, Kylo, how did you get such a high position of all people?"

Actually, now would have been the time to smack the general against the nearest wall, but to be honest, he was far too confused about the questions Hux was asking.

Did Hux need any love advice? Was that it?  
Then Kylo was definitely the wrong person to talk to, after all, he didn't love or showed special interest in anyone.

"What about you and the technician?" asked Hux suddenly.

Rey?

"What about her?"

Hux's narrow eyes widened.

And then suddenly Kylo understood what Hux was trying to tell him.  
"I? You mean me?" he laughed out loud, "Me in love? You're kidding!"  
What were Hux thinking? That was the most absurd thing he had ever heard.

Granted, being Matt had certain advantages. He learned a lot more about his ship and the staff. After all, that was something to be expected of your leader, wasn't it?  
Even talking to Rey without them fighting and berating each other was fun, but so it was with anyone who interacted with him.  
Of course, he is often seen with her, but she is an enemy after all. It would be the only natural to observe her.

He really wondered how the carrot head came up with such ideas.  
But after seeing how many rumors spread on the finalizer, it doesn't surprise him either.

"You're a little dense." said Hux suddenly, "That will be your downfall."

If it wouldn´t be so ridiculous, Hux would be dead by now, but Kylo couldn´t hold the laughter that burst its way out of his mouth.  
"Yes, of course, dear General. Can I go now? Or do you want to bother me with more of your absurd thoughts?"

Hux raised his eyebrows and gave him a little grin.  
"Have you ever heard of the saying who laughs last, laughs best?"

\---------------------------------------------------------

"Excuse me, but are you Matt?"

Surprised and confused, he looked out from under the machine where he had to exchange some cables.  
The face of a plump, heavily made-up woman appeared directly above him.

"Uh, yes," he replied unsettled.

"Ohhhhh, you are really cute!" and only then did he notice all the other women nearby.  
They eyed him as if he were a special animal, and an uncomfortable feeling spread inside him.

With a little effort, he crawled out from below, stood up, and looked down at the group from above. There were certainly about fifteen women around him.

"Can I ... uh help you somehow?"

"You're the one who beat up the stormtroopers, aren't you?" said one of the women  
"Uh, yeah ... that was probably me."  
He noticed how tension was gripping him.  
Suddenly they screamed, not frightened but cheering.  
"Oooohhh, you did great!"

"Oh ... did I?"

There was something very unusual about these women.

"Ah, that was as brave of you as you defended our beloved Supreme Leader!" said one with approval in her eyes.

"Our beloved?"

"You seem like a huge fan too."  
"A fan?"  
He stared at the group in confusion. What were these crazy women talking about?

"Come on, who will tell him? Said the plump woman.  
"Oh, oh ... I want, I want"  
"No, I!!"  
"No, it's my turn!"  
They barked at each other, but before he had the chance to disappear unnoticed, they beamed at him after they had apparently agreed.

"Well, we all say it together. On three! One... two..."

"We're adding you to our Kylo Ren fan club," they cheered deafeningly loudly.

Sheer horror spread across his face.  
If he thought that the day Snoke pushed him down the cliff was the scariest moment of his life, then he corrected himself immediately. These women simply topped everything.  
"Fa ... fan club?"  
Even what Hux said that morning was less ridiculous than this.

The women beamed at him, patted him on the shoulder and pressed things into his hands, which he couldn´t even hold all at once.  
Then they said goodbye when the plump turned back to him.  
"The club meeting always takes place every two weeks after the end of the shift in the back room of the laundry. Don't be late, honey!" then she too disappeared.

He looked skeptically over the things. He recognized a shirt, a kind of flag, a banner, and lots of little badges with the inscription:  
"Masks are sexy!" and "Kylo Ren is the best!"

It was an absolute nightmare. Once again he wondered how the hell could people get such ideas.  
That was absurd. That was awful and most of all ...  
That was damn embarrassing!

"What are you doing here?"  
The shock of the sudden voice behind him made him drop the things and he turned around with his hands in front of his body in defense.  
Rey stood next to him, with a very curious expression on her face as she bent down and started picking up the scattered things. She paused when she picked up a badge and examined it, the smile that spread across the corner of her mouth was unmistakable.

"Don't look at that!" he exclaimed in panic.

She burst out laughing and he got hot with shame and he was sure, his face could rival the color of his lightsaber.  
"Stop it!" he said grimly, but that only made it worse.  
"Ahaha sor ... sorry, ahaha, you ... haha you should ... hahaha your face ... so funny!"

Tears formed in the corner of her eye and she held her stomach with one hand while supporting herself with the other so that she would not roll over the floor from laughing. If you took it closer, you couldn't call it a laugh anymore. Rather, it was just an uncontrollable gasping for air, mixed with a hysterical grunt that eerily reminded him of a battle cry from a Wookie.  
It was annoying.

As if in reflex, he leaned forward, pressing her to the ground, and covered her mouth with his hand.  
"I said stop!"

Her laughter died instantly.

He felt the warmth that emanated from her small, delicate body more clearly than ever before and the same sweet scent from the morning rose in his nose again.  
Kylo was so close to her, that he could count every freckle and how his breath made the small hairs on her face move.

Still, with tears on the edge, she stared at him with her big eyes. Not angry, but expectant.  
Slowly he took his hand from her mouth.  
His gaze wanders across her forehead, her nose to her lips, which slightly parted.  
He just needed to go a bit further and...

"Matt?" she said softly and it contracted strangely in his abdomen.  
His heart was pounding hard against his chest and he was sure she could hear it.  
What was he thinking?  
Hux words came back to his mind and hastily backed away from her.

Slowly she straightened up, her face covered with a slight reddish sheen, she avoided his eyes.

They were silent for a while until he couldn't take it any longer.  
"What are you doing here?"

Happy of him breaking the ice, she replied,  
"I have nothing to do at the moment, so I thought, 'Let's see what Matt is doing and if he needs some help'."

He laughed softly.  
"If you had come a few minutes earlier, I might have been spared from this." grinning he held up his banner.

"But that's a great honor. You are now an honorable member of the Kylo Ren Fan Club!" she said sarcastically, waving the little flag.  
"What should I do there? Why is there such a thing?" he asked, taking a closer look at the little badges.  
Rey shrugged. "I don't know! You might tell them about Kylo Ren's eight pack. That surely will drive them crazy." then she started giggling again.

"I think you're just jealous that you weren't allowed to participate," he said jokingly, trying to sound as arrogant as Hux.

Rey got up, grabbed the shirt, and looked at it for a moment.  
"Don't worry, I wouldn't want to go to a Kylo Ren fan club anyway."

Okay, that hurt a little ... did she have to say it like that? Kylo tensed.  
"So? Would it be so bad to be a fan of him?"  
A laughing escaped her mouth, as she threw the Shirt against his head.  
"Hey!" he protested.  
Rey shook her head, "I'd rather join a Matt fan club." and then she grinned widely and only one thought appeared in his mind...

What if Hux were right?


	7. Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Urg editing took me long this time.  
> I am not particularly pleased yet, but I did my best (⋟﹏⋞)

Sitting on the narrow bed, he looked thoughtfully at the wig in his hands.  
Almost two weeks have passed since he wore it for the first time and strolled through the market in Pasaana.  
Much has happened since then.  
Rey came on the ship as a spy for the resistance, he himself went undercover to stop her. He recognized her, she didn't recognize him, and in some absurd way ... they became friends.

They always hung out together in the canteen, met again during their breaks. Talked, wrote good night greetings to each other, and laughed together.  
And then? Then something very strange happened.

Ever since the day he officially became a member of his own Fanclub and Rey lay below him, her big eyes staring at him waiting, how her lips parted, how she said his...no...Matt's name.  
It drove him insane and then the words of Hux repeated constantly in his head.

_"Who would have thought that you of all people could develop such feelings?"_

Could it really be?   
Could he really be in love?

How would he know? He's never been in love.  
He admitted, that it was really nice to talk to her instead of having to fight or be offended by her.  
But does that mean he was in love?

Nah, that was ridiculous.

Even if his heart pounded strangely as soon as she came into his field of vision or he kept looking for her and hoped that she would smile at him again.  
Or that he even found himself studying her body. The way her hips moved as she walked under the oversized jumpsuit, or the way he could see the slightest trace of a curve of her brea...  
Damn it.

Maybe Hux was right, and he was really a bit limited in his head.  
He didn't feel any better than that asshole Gregory.

What was going on?  
It didn't work the way he wanted to.  
He shouldn't think about her all the time, feel attracted to her, desire her, and dream about her.  
He should watch her and prevent her from manipulating his ship, catching her, torturing her, killing her ...

But Rey's presence confused him more and more every day.  
So far, there has not been one false report, no machine failures, except for the ones he had broken himself and above all, she asked no questions about the first order or ... about Kylo Ren.  
So what was she doing here?  
What is she here for? ... or for whom?

Arg...

What was happening to him?  
This wasn't normal anymore. He needs to stop thinking about her.

What if Hux were right ...?  
Then that would really be his downfall.

Shit, he had to distract himself somehow.  
With a sigh, he got up, put his wig back on, and left the small room.

\---------------------------------------------------------

He crept down the corridors as quietly as possible.  
With a cautious look around the corner, he breathed a sigh of relief when he found the next corridor empty.  
Kylo grinned and proudly looked at the two packs of mint caf in his hands. At last, he no longer had to drink that disgusting stuff from the canteen that made him throw up almost every day.  
And most of all, he was curious to see Rey's reaction when she tasted it ...

Kriff, didn't he want to stop thinking about her?

Whatever...the way to his quarters was worth it.  
It hadn't been easy to get past all the guards, especially on the upper docks where it was much more heavily guarded.  
But in the end, he just had to use his little mind games on one stormtrooper, in the hope that when this regained his senses, he would be too embarrassed to think about who he owed it, to be in a broom closet, just in his underpants.

Above all, Hux should be the least likely to find out about it, otherwise, he would drive Kylo crazy again with his endless talk.  
Of course, it would have been easier if he had thought about his packs before, when he was Kylo Ren and not Matt.  
But the last time he was up here, he was too angry and forgot about it.   
Well, at least he got some distraction and it was kind of funny to see the Finalizer from a new point of view.  
  
A sound startled him.   
Voices!  
Shit, he'd been standing here way too long.  
With his heart pounding, he pressed himself a little more against the wall.  
The voices came closer and he recognized one of them as Hux's and the other...was awfully familiar to him too.

Slowly and carefully he looked around the corner.  
His breath caught at the sight of the scene before his eyes.  
There was standing Hux with...Rey?  
They seemed to be arguing over something. 

"You shouldn't be so distracted!" Hux said with a slight angry undertone.

"I know what I'm doing General!" 

What was going on here? Why were they here together? At this hour...  
Hux took a step towards her.  
"You know that one mistake ruins everything."

What are they talking about?   
There was some kind of Familiarity between them and somehow, he didn´t like that at all.

"Don't worry, I can do it!" she said and seemed annoyed.

Then he saw Hux raise his hand.  
He wouldn´t hit her, would he?  
Before Kylo could jump out of his hiding place, Hux lowered his hand on Rey's head and patted her.  
A warm smile spread across the General's face, "Yes, I know, and trust you!"

Kylo couldn't believe his eyes.  
What the hell was going on here?

And then she smiled. Wide and warm and ... happy ...

Something tightened in his chest and a brief feeling of dizziness came over him. Unfortunately, he noticed too late that one of the coffee bags slipped out of his hands and landed on the floor.

Crap!

Immediately both turned their heads in his direction. Fortunately, Kylo took cover in time.

"Who's there?" Hux asked loudly, his voice echoing off the walls.

Kylo could hear Rey say, "I better go now, see you soon!" before she stormed off.  
He had to get out of here quickly too and above all, he had to get these images out of his head ... images that hurt his heart.

》》

He stood still  
There were steps ... Somebody ran away.  
Hux concentrated.  
...  
These steps. Heavy and long ...  
A grin appeared on his pale face.  
Hux now knew who had overheard them.  
"It's just getting funnier," he said and went whistling up the aisle.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Unmotivated he poked around in his food.  
The events of the previous evening had left him with no sleep.

"Hey Matt, how is your stomach?"  
Kylo looked up and saw in Tim's kind face.  
For a moment he was confused about what Tim could mean until it occurred to him again, that he had invented certain stomach problems to switch between Kylo Ren and Matt at any time.  
"I uh ... I take medication!"

"That's good. Are you good at drinking?" Tim asked with curiosity and joy on his face.  
"Drink?"  
Somewhat uncertainly, he held up his cup of caf.  
Tim shook his head  
"No, I mean hard things. You know!"

No, he didn't know.  
"Hard stuff? Something like wine?"

That sparked a hearty laugh from Tim.  
"You call that hard? Haha, sorry ...," he added when Kylo looked in less amused, "I talk more about hard alcohol. Rum, gin, and whiskey or something like that."

He wasn't particularly familiar with that. The first order had clear rules regarding the consumption of alcohol. It was forbidden for lower ranks, soldiers, and especially employees, but there were exceptions for the upper ranks. Not that he really cared.  
He was a warrior and always had to be sane, so the no-alcohol rule applied to him too.  
Sure he was invited to hang out by Hux and Phasma from time to time, but normally he just drank some sweet juice.

"Never tried it." he finally replied with a shrug, thinking the conversation was over. But Tim had other ideas, "Well, I and some of the others thought about throwing a little party."

What did they all have with their parties?  
"Aha ... and?"  
"Well, you've probably heard that the Supreme Leader is gone at the moment, so now is the perfect opportunity," explained Tim.

If only he knew.

"In any case, we want you with us. It will be fun."

That surprised Kylo, "Me? I don't think I'm such a good company."  
Tim shook his head again.  
"You're one of us, Buddy! The others are looking forward to hanging out with you too."

Is that so? Kylo wasn't so sure and this conversation became uncomfortable for him.  
"Better not. I think parties are not for me."

Tim nodded a little disappointed. "Well, in case you change your mind, you know how to contact me."

"Hey guys, what are you talking about?" the soft voice of Rey reached his ear. With tensed muscles, Kylo watched from the corner of his eye as she sat down across from them.  
"Hey Niima, how are you? You look a little tired." Tim asked immediately, as always he was the one who started a conversation.  
"I'm fine, just had one eventful night."

Actually, he had wanted to greet her, somehow ... but after that statement, the words stuck in his mouth. Everything in him felt stiff. The images of the previous evening came back into his head and it annoyed him.

Rey didn't seem to notice ... or she didn't care.

"Niima, what do you think of a little party? I and some of the guys want to have one. Don't worry, other women will come too!" Tim continued undeterred beside him.

She was silent and seemed to be thinking and for a moment, Kylo thought she would say no too. When he finally managed to look at her, he saw a skeptical expression on her fine features. But then she smiled and nodded.  
"That sounds great! I'll be there! When?"

Really?

"In two days! We still have to make some preparations. I'll write to you later, okay? So then I'll leave you two alone, I want to ask a few others, see you later." Tim said goodbye with a small hand greeting before he disappeared.

There was an uncomfortable silence.  
After a while, she sighed in annoyance.  
"Is something wrong? You're acting kind of weird!"

"No, why?"

She pursed her lips, "You didn't even say hello!"

"All right, hello!" he said deadpan.

"Are you mad at me?"

Yes! He was angry. Even if he couldn't explain why.  
Was it because of Hux?  
How she looked at the red-haired man as if they had always known each other ... or maybe more?  
Was it because she'd agreed to a party without thinking?

He pressed his lips together tightly.

"Well, okay, don't tell me then." She sighed, "Are you going to the party too?"

"No, I don't think so. I don't even know what to do there!" he tried to answer as calmly as possible. 

"Oh come on, Matt! Don't be such a buzzkill!"  
If this was her attempt to lighten up the mood, she failed miserably.

"What? I'm sorry I don't feel like participating in excessive drinking, especially since it's forbidden anyway," he growled and she gave him that incredulous look he dislikes so much.  
"The Supreme Leader is currently out of the office and people shouldn't take the opportunity? What's wrong with having fun in difficult times?"

His heart rate increased.  
Why didn't she understand?

Without control, he slammed his hands on the table and stood up abruptly.  
"Then go! What have I to do with it? Nothing at all! Have fun, as much and with whom you want!"

Rey stood up too and stared at him. Again with so much fire in her eyes ...  
"You're absolutely right about that. I can have fun with whoever I want and luckily enough will come to try it out!"

This brat…

"Fine! Have Fun!" he yelled and with a wave of his hand, he threw his food tray from the table.  
The attention of the other employees was now completely focused on them.

Rey's face turned red and she slammed her fists hard on the table too.  
"Fine!!" she yelled back, showing him the middle finger, and then stormed out of the canteen.  
He stared after her in shock.  
Scattered laughter from the others reached his ear and, ashamed, he slumped into his seat.

What on all the planets just happened?  
Arrg….  
That stupid cow drove him crazy.

Crap...  
He didn't mean to yell at her like that.  
Yet he had done it.

Confused thoughts plagued him all night.  
What was your connection to Hux?  
Why did they talk so intimately to each other?  
Above all ... what was she doing with Hux that evening anyway?

The memory of her conversation with the traitor kept popping into his mind.

_"You tell me now. Why? Is it because of him? You want to see him, right? Do you like him?"_

Could it be?  
Is she because of ...  
No, that was impossible ... right?

It might be she came because of H...  
He didn't want to think it through to the end.

His head began to hurt and he massaged his temples to ease the pain.

Why was he so insecure?  
It had nothing to do with him, what she was doing, for whom and why.  
Then why did he feel so rejected?  
So left alone?

No, he had to find out why she was here.  
He couldn't take any more nights without sleep.

Determined, he picked up his datapad and looked for a specific person.  
When he found the name, he quickly typed in a few words.

Not far from him he heard the familiar sound of a message being delivered.

>>>>

Tim looked away from the person across from him and studied the words that were sent to him.

Matt:  
"I just wanted to say...  
Count me in!"


	8. Drunk in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Swear words and blood are mentioned.
> 
> ノಠ_ಠノ

Well, that started a lot worse than expected.  
He had been standing in front of his bed for an hour, pensively, looking at the pile of clothes that were scattered over it.

Tim had specifically told him to appear as casual as possible.  
Kylo hadn't understood exactly what that meant, but it sounded serious and important.

But that Tim meant not to wear work clothes or those fine suits that he often had to wear as a child at his mother's banquets, had made the task much more difficult.  
Because besides those, the only thing he owns was his warrior outfit and he really couldn't show himself with that.  
Steve had offered to lend him something, but Kylo had doubts when he held up one of Steve´s shirts. Sure, the brunette guy was about his size, but thinner ... less ... trained.

Wouldn't it have been better if Kylo had let himself go a little?  
But with the prospect of a sudden attack by the Resistance and a spy on board, it was a good thing, that he was determined enough not to neglect his training.

Nevertheless, he now had to deal with the problem, that he had nothing suitable to wear.

Maybe he shouldn't go after all. That was a stupid idea anyway.

The bright laugh from the next room tore him from his thoughts.  
Her laugh.

His chest felt uncomfortably tight.  
Rey hadn't spoken to him for two days. Whenever they happen to meet in the corridors, she either turned in a different direction or ignored him completely.  
And he'd wanted to apologize ... really ... kind of.  
After all, he had to watch her, had to make sure that she wasn't doing mischief, had to stay informed about her.  
But he had not apologized and was now punished by her with the cold shoulder.

Damn it...  
He missed her.  
Their conversations, her kindness to Matt ... her loud laughter ...  
Why did he like it so much?

Again that very pleasant sound reached his ear.  
But now, it bothered him.  
What the fuck was so funny?

He stared hard at the wall.  
What the heck was she doing? How could she be in such a good mood while he was desperate here?

Frustrated, he hit against the wall, and on the other side, it went suddenly quiet.  
Then, just a heartbeat later, a loud 'boom' came back.

This little ...  
He hit it again.  
And the answer came immediately.

...

Slowly he raised his hand and knocked twice, this time softer.

A soft knock came back and shortly afterward a giggle.

Only now did he really notice how incredibly thin these walls were.  
Could he try?  
Maybe this was his opportunity ...  
He stepped a little closer to the wall until his forehead touched the cool steel and took another deep breath.  
"I am sorry!"

It was quiet.  
Just when he thought she might not have understood, he heard a gentle, "Matt?"  
And for a moment his heart skips a beat.

He pressed his ear to the wall and waited to see if she might say something else, but only a rustle and the opening of a door could be heard until a knock on his door made him freeze.  
"Matt? Can I come in?"

Okay, that was definitely unexpected and most of all problematic.

He was only in his underwear.  
Damn!  
"Uh, just a moment," he called to her, and constantly cursing he put on the first pair of pants he could find and Steve's shirt.

"Urg!" ... Kriff, that was tight.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yes, just a moment, I'll be ready soon!"

Where did those damn glasses go?

"Are you really sure?" she asked, sounding a little worried.

He had finally found the glasses, now the only thing missing was the wig.

"Matt, if you don't open it right away, I'll hack into it!"

Oh, he was sure that she was serious ... and above all that she could do it.  
The wig, he had to find it quickly.  
There in the damn corner, of course, as always, it was.

Just as he managed to hide his black hair under the blond, his door opened with the familiar hiss and Rey walked in without waiting.  
"Really, the access codes are so obvious ..."

There she stood, in the middle of his room, and looked at him with those big eyes. Waiting, friendly...and a little...embarrassed?  
He had actually expected her to be still mad at him, but to his surprise, she smiled.

Now, when he thought about it, two days was a long time.  
So damn long in which he got no smile, no friendliness, no joy, and before he knew it, his legs moved on their own, closed the gap between them and he pulled her tightly into his arms.  
"I am sorry!"

He must have gone completely mad.

How else could it be that her smell numbed his senses and her small, warm, soft body made his legs felt so weak?

That wasn't normal anymore ...It was insane!

"Hm Mhaff? I caff breff!"

"What?"

She twisted back and forth in his arms until she pushed him away with pressure and a loud gasp escaped her throat,  
"Huaah...I said...I can't...breathe!"

"Oh ... um ... I'm sorry!" he said, quickly stepping back a few steps.   
What the fuck, did he do? He shouldn't have touched her like that. It was wrong!   
Leaning on her thigh, she raised a hand and shook her head,  
"Yes me too!"

He wasn't sure what exactly she meant by that but decided it was better to leave it at that.  
Still, it didn´t help with the confusing thoughts that were occupying his mind.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"So ...", she began after a while, "you've changed your mind?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure yet, maybe I'll stay here," he said, sounding more desperate than he'd intended.

"What? Why? You have to come!"

Carefully he let his gaze wander over her. Only now did he notice how different she looked, without glasses and loose hair that fell slightly over her shoulder. She had also swapped her jumpsuit for a black, sleeveless shirt and white, leather-like trousers, which, in his opinion, were much too tight.  
She looked way too good ... everyone would stare at her and he didn't like that at all.

"Matt?" her voice snapped him back to the presence.

"I, uh ... I have nothing to wear!" 

She looked at him skeptically, "You're telling me that you don't want to come to the party because you have nothing to wear? Are you serious?"

Actually, he had only said yes because he wanted to keep spying on her, but he'd better keep that to himself...

The clearly annoyed sigh from her mouth made him flinch briefly.  
"I'll help you, take off your clothes!"

"W ... what?" he could feel the heat rose in his head.

She rolled her eyes, "Don't be like that, I'm not looking!"  
Demonstratively, she turned to the clothes on his bed and took a few in her hand to look at them better.  
"Sure!" he said and slowly took off the shirt, taking care not to let the wig slip.

Over her shoulder, she held a shirt up high for him to take it. As he was standing right behind her, he could see how tense her back seemed, and a little smile crossed his lips. At least he wasn´t the only one embarrassed here.

He took a closer look at the shirt. It was one of those black short-sleeved ones he sometimes put on after a shower. Unsure if something like that was really enough for the occasion, he put it on.  
Maybe it was because he had got used to the baggy work clothes. After all, this shirt also seemed pretty tight to him, even if it wasn't as tight as Steve's.

"Okay!" he said, checking again that his wig was still in place.

When she turned to him, she just blinked a few times.  
"Not good?" he asked uncertainly.  
She shook her head and smiled slightly, "No, that's good...leave that on!"  
He looked down at himself, "Don't you think it's a little tight?"

"That's because you're well built! You are quite...muscular," and he was sure that a slight reddish tinge graced her face before she continued, "All women will go nuts tonight as soon as they see you."

"You too?"

She eyed him crookedly, took a step forward, and smiled.  
Slowly, she raised her hands and took off his glasses.  
"Who knows?" she said, "You are pretty nice to look at."  
She got on her tiptoe and kissed him on his cheek.  
"See you!" and not a second later, she hurried from his room.

Stunned, he looked at the door and touched his cheek.   
It was still a bit wet in one place.

"What an unpredictable woman."

\----------------------------------------------

He was thrown in the middle of the crowd as soon as he entered the dimly lit room.  
Tim, who already smelled strongly of alcohol, happily raised his hand and yelled, "Heeeeey guys, Matt is here, wuhuuu!" and everyone else cheered too.  
Steve immediately gave him something to drink that Kylo couldn't identify at first glance. Even when he sniffed it, he didn't know what it was.  
He looked skeptically at the people around him as they clinked glasses and emptied them in one gulp.  
Shrugging, he copied the act, which resulted in a sore throat and a strong cough. Laughing, Tim patted him on the back, "Don't worry, dude, it'll get better with time. Here's another one."

Kylo accepted but refrained from drinking for the time being.  
After all, he wasn't here to hang out with some folks and his eyes scanned the crowd for Rey.

A lot more came than expected. He saw women from the laundry department and even, to his horror, some from his fan club. A couple of men were playing sabacc in a corner and laughing loudly when one lost his entire bet. Right in the middle has gathered a big crowd and danced wildly to the typical warbat trance, which boomed loudly from a music android. Small flying droids emitted brightly colored lights as they hovered over the heads of the people.  
He was surprised to find that even Jones had come and was busy rubbing her body against a man he often saw as a kitchen assistant.  
"Disgusting," he muttered quietly, before looking away.

Then he finally discovered her. She danced cheerfully in the middle of the dancefloor with an empty glass in her hand. Small beads of sweat ran down her reddish face, and she looked perfectly happy.  
Their eyes met, and with swinging hips, she danced her way through to him.  
He loved it ... she looked damn pretty doing it.  
"Hey, there you are finally," she said aloud and smiled so widely that he felt dizzy for a moment.

Unable to answer, he nodded to her.  
"You really did leave the glasses off. That's good!" She said with an appreciative look. Steve walked past them with a bottle, and she held out her glass for him to refill it.  
Kylo waited for the brunette guy to move on before answering, "Well, I thought this was just better for these...uh occasions?"

She teased his ribs with her elbow, "You look good! See, those two back there can't take their eyes off you!"  
He looked in the direction in which she was pointing and saw two women who were barely dressed. When they saw him looking over, they waved enthusiastically. He raised his hand a little uncertainly and turned his attention back to Rey.

She eyed him with an unreadable expression.  
"You seem to like them a lot," her mouth twisted in disgust as she took a sip of her drink, "I can't blame you. They both look pretty hot."

"What? No, uh...I was just trying to be polite."

"Oh Matt, there's no need to be polite if you're not interested. Women get this wrong, you know."

"No, I don't know, to be honest...it's the first time I've been here on...something like that." he pointed to all the party guests.  
She nodded, "I'm actually not an expert either."

They stood together in silence.  
"Shall we sit down somewhere? My legs are getting tired." she finally asked, holding out a hand to him.  
Reluctantly he accepted it, "Sure!"  
She led him past the other guests until they reached one of the sofas in the corner of the room.

"Wait here! I'll get more to drink," she said and disappeared again into the crowd.  
Wasn't she tired just a moment before?  
A little hesitantly, he sat down on the sofa and was surprised to find that it was actually quite comfortable.

Of course, he knew how well equipped the common rooms were, but misusing them for such...things...just never occurred to him.  
Kriff, he was naive!

He carefully took a sip of his drink. It tasted sweet, and he emptied it in one go.  
His head was starting to feel strange, an uncontrolled laugh escaping his throat.

Rey came back shortly afterward. She sat down next to him, gave him a skeptical look, and handed him a new glass.  
"Is everything okay?"  
"Hmm yes ... actually it's not that bad here."  
"Right, I told you!"

He inspected the content of the new drink before quickly gulping it down as well.  
Rey laughed up beside him, "You are really thirsty, huh? The others can hardly keep up."  
He grinned broadly at her and held out the empty glass.  
"Is there more?"

"Of course!" said someone beside him, and he looked up at Tim.  
He held out a glass to Kylo, "Here, Matt, take this, that's pretty good too."  
Kylo took it and looked at the dubious, greenish liquid.  
Rey put her hand on his shoulder, "I don't know if you really want to drink this. It's very strong alco ..."  
Before she could finish, he had drunk it.

"Wuaah!!!"  
Damn, it burned in his throat.   
Tim laughed.  
"Man, Matt, you've never heard of taking it easy. You really are a funny guy."

Kylo grinned at him. It started spinning around him.  
"Matt, I'll get you some water and snacks. No more alcohol for you!" said Rey, taking the glass from him.  
He nodded and saluted.  
"Yes, Boss!"

"Oh Niima, let the boy have some fun," said Tim.  
Kylo nodded again, threw her arms in the air, and yelled, "Yes, Boss!"

Rey fended off, "I'm warning you, Tim, don't give him anything more. He doesn't seem to take it!"  
"Yes, Boss!"

She sighed. "Well, that escalated quickly!"  
Rey got up, but Kylo held her back.   
"Are you leaving me?"  
"I'll be right back, don't touch anything Tim offers you," she patted his head and then disappeared among the others.  
"Wow, Matt, you are really crazy about the little one!" said Tim and whistled.

"What? Who is crazy?"  
Shit, his vision became blurry.

Tim sat next to him, "You are crazy...or rather, completely in love. I didn't notice that before."  
Kylo was confused.  
What was Tim talking about?  
"I'm in love? To whom?"

With a hearty laugh, Tim handed him a new glass.  
"You're not the brightest, are you? Take this before your little one comes back."  
"No, my boss said, I can't!"  
"Well, basically Matt, I'm your boss and I say you can," replied Tim with a wink.  
"All right," he took the glass and drained it immediately.

Tim was right...he really got used to it.

"Haha, I am giving you an award for best employee of the month!"   
Tim laughed loudly, and Kylo laughed with him, although he hadn't fully understood the joke.

"Hello, pretty boys."   
Kylo looked at two women and dared to remember that these were the two he had waved to before. So up close, he could see better how little they were wearing. The taller of the two wore a silver dress that ended just below her bottom and had a huge neckline. The other wore a cropped red shirt with a matching mini skirt.  
He didn't like it. He thought it was strange.  
Sure, the women were pretty ... but not as pretty as Rey.

"Hey Melissa, hey Lisa, how are you? Are you having fun?" Tim started a conversation in his usual way. Kylo leaned back a little. He wouldn't remember those names anyway.  
"Of course! Tell me, who is your drunken companion?" asked the brunette of the two.  
"What, don't you recognize Matt? Well, he looks different, without glasses." Tim said.  
Kylo just gave a short smile at the mention of his alias.  
"Right, Matt...May we sit with you?" said the shorter blonde.  
Without devaluing an answer, they squeezed between him and Tim.

They immediately pestered him with thousands of questions.  
Tim refilled his glass over and over again, and everything began to spin around him.  
His head started to hurt. He barely recognized his surroundings.  
Someone called Tim, and the two women sit around him and whisper strange things in his ear.

"You are a very handsome man, Matt!"  
"There's enough space for two in my cabin!"

The music boomed in his ears, the women chatted and chatted non-stop.  
He didn't understand what it was about, but he knew one thing very well ... it was annoying ...

How did he get into this situation?

Whatever. There was something more important...something he wanted.

He wanted to see Rey.

Just where was she?

He looked for her, but his vision was noticeably restricted.  
He leaned forward and groaned.  
Somehow he wasn't feeling well.  
"Are you okay, my dear? Shall we take you to your room?" the two giggled.

He got up abruptly, only to regret it the next moment.  
His head ached like hell, and he tried to take a step forward.  
"Where are you going?" said one of the two.  
"I want to see Rey!" was his only answer, leaving behind the confused women, who wondered who the hell he was talking about.

Disoriented, he stumbled across the room.

The bright colors blurred before his eyes.  
Just as he thought he was giving up and indulging in his intoxication, he saw her.

She was standing in front of a dark-haired guy with a dirty grin on his face. Her expression was visibly angry.   
Kylo staggered closer until he could understand her.  
"Well, don't act like that !" said the man and took her hand.  
"Don't touch me, Brian," she spat at him.

"Now, don't pretend Niima, we all know that you are just as much a bitch as everyone else here."

Red with anger, she reached out with one hand and slapped this Brian.  
He looked at her furious and grabbed both of her arms.

Why didn't she fight back?

With his wobbly legs, he tried to move faster.  
To his horror, he saw Brian pushing Rey forcibly against the wall.  
His face came dangerously close to her, and before Kylo could prevent anything, Brian put his smeary lips on Reys.

For a moment, time seemed to stand still. He felt a painful stab in his heart and then ... irrepressible anger.  
Without thinking, he shot forward and grabbed this guy by the collar.  
"What the...?" was the only thing the man could say before Kylo threw his fist into Brian's face with full force.

Brian stumbled backward, and without hesitation, Kylo pushed him to the ground.  
Rey cries out from behind, "Matt, no, stop it!"  
She tried to hold him back but hardly had a chance.  
Brian struggled in vain.  
Only when Rey threw herself in between, he stopped.  
"Please, Matt, let go!"

His breathing got hard. The man below groaned and pushed the two away.  
"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Brian said, holding his bleeding nose in disgust, "You ... are both sick, man ... totally fucked up!"

"You better go now, Brian," Rey said in a cold voice.  
Brian pointed his finger at her, "Listen, Bitch, this will have consequences!"  
With an effort, he straightened up and took a few steps back, "Next time I'll get you, stupid whore!", Then he went and disappeared.

Kylo tried hastily to jump after him, but Rey put all her weight against him, "Let it be!"  
He couldn't understand her...  
Why...why did she stopped him?  
That bastard deserved it, so why?

"Why?"  
"Please listen to me, Matt!" she said calmly.

Why did she hold him back?  
Did she like that?  
He got up a little too fast and staggered. Rey rushed to his support.  
"Why?" he asked angrily again.  
"Come on, I'll take you to your room."

Why did she ignore his questions?  
Everything was spinning in his head.  
He had to know.

Did she like that kiss?  
Did she like Brian?   
Did she like Hux?  
Did she like to play with his feelings?

He tore himself away from her to push her against the wall himself in the next moment.  
"Why?" he repeated.  
Stucked between him and the wall, she just stared at him in horror out of her big eyes.

"Matt? You scare me, please stop," her voice trembled.  
Kylo looked at her. He felt so angry, hopeless, and hurt.  
He needed to know...

What did she think of him?

His headache got worse, and his stomach contracted strangely.

He leaned towards her, "You are mine...!"

Suddenly everything went black...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, I did it.   
> This chapter really got on my nerves. While editing, I noticed how illogical some things sounded, so I completely rewrote a passage. （; ￣ ー ￣A  
> At the same time, I also try to find out how I can express things better in English.  
> Therefore, I am happy to receive tips and constructive criticism.
> 
> And thanks @ Tara35 for all your nice comments, they always make me happy (ᗒᗨᗕ)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so guilty that this update took so long.  
> Even though there were only a few sentences that drove me crazy. (T⌓T)   
> It never occurred to me that editing can be this evil Ψ(￣∀￣)Ψ  
> I hope to be faster next time.
> 
> I was very happy about the last comments and I will continue to do my best.

Only two thoughts troubled him the moment he woke up.

First, where was he?  
Second, why was he only in his underwear?

Slowly he turned his head to one side, and in the dim light, he saw furniture that seemed familiar to him.

He was in his quarters.

How did he get here?  
Moaning, he straightened up and rubbed his temples.  
His mouth felt strangely dry.  
Water...

Suddenly the lights came on, and reflexively he narrowed his eyes.  
"What the..."

"Well, you sleepyhead. Finally awake?" asked a familiar nasal voice.

"H...Hux?"

With his hand up, he opened one eye.   
Hux stood in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest and his gaze betrayed how much he enjoyed Kylo's misery, "What? Why so surprised?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" 

"You don't remember anything you did last night? Really, Kylo ... that hurts me a bit!" said Hux theatrically.

Kylo eyes widened, "Last night? ... What did I do?"

Hux dug his datapad out of his coat pocket and tossed it to Kylo.  
"Read this, you degenerate idiot!"

With trembling hands, he took it and scanned the messages.

Matt:  
"Hux, come here quickly and save me, you stupid ass."

Matt:  
"Huxi?.. I'm sick Hux ... haaaaaaalp meeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!1"

Matt:  
"I think I puuuked. Where are youuuuuuu????"

Matt:  
"Huhuxiii, my stupid giant baby, Huxi. Cooommeee hereeee."

"Oh, shit...!"

Hux sighed, "Tell me about it! What were you thinking? You of all people!"

Ashamed, Kylo put his head in his hands.  
What did he do? He didn't know anything anymore.  
"This can not be true."

A sudden pull in his stomach made him jump up, and he ran to the first vessel he could find and vomited.

The redhead grimaced in disgust, took his datapad, and said, "Cleaning droids and easily digestible breakfast to the Supreme Leader's room, please!"

>>

A few minutes later, Kylo was sitting at his table, freshly washed and dressed. In front of him stood a bowl of porridge, a glass of water, and some pills.  
Hux sat across and sipped at his caf.

"Hux?" began Kylo with a rough voice, "Do you know something...uhm...about the things that happened?"  
The redhead looked at him over the top of his cup, then lowered it and grinned, "Oh yes, I know a lot! As well as many others, by the way."  
Kylo knew what that meant, "Show me!"

Hux held out his datapad and played him some holorecordings.

At first, he saw Matt staggering and hugging everyone he met.

The second, he danced on a table, moving his hips in strange circular motions.

In the next, Matt moaned and asked for Kylo Ren's huge lightsaber.  
Even to his ears, it sounded terribly inappropriate.

Another showed him taking off his shirt, swinging it wildly over his head and yelling, "I'm a helicopter, ratatatata!" before he threw it into a crowd of women.

So this was where his clothes went...

"That's enough! Turn it off!" he ordered, averting his gaze.

"Well, that's the punishment for not following the rules," said Hux with a shrug. "Why did you even take part?"

"Well, I've been assured several times that the Supreme Leader isn't there at the moment!" Kylo replied.

"Spare me your sarcasm! It was quite an effort to find you. When I did, you were only in your underwear and begged the music droid to play some rage metal!"

"Kriff...," a shiver crept through his body.

How could he let himself go like that?  
First of all, what must Rey had thought at the sight of him?  
He knew she must have seen the scar on his chest.  
She wasn't stupid! She would certainly be able to add one and one together.

Shit, what should he do?

He looked thoughtfully at the man opposite, which continued to drink his caf.  
Hux was only a little older than him, and although he did not have the force, his uncanny intelligence made him a General so early.  
That was why Hux had always been valuable to Snoke. Perhaps Kylo could also benefit from his sharp mind.

"Hux, can I ask you a question?" he began carefully. The General looked up and nodded.  
Kylo took a deep breath, "So purely hypothetical. If you know that a certain person is incredibly valuable to you, for example, to rule the galaxy together, even though she is your enemy ... then you would still protect that person...right?"

Hux blinked a few times, "Are you talking about the scavenger girl?"

"I said purely hypothetical! And I wasn't done yet!"

"Of course. Go on."

Kylo hesitated for a moment, "So, let's say, you have a special connection to this person, one that can be felt across different galaxies, then you would surely want to find this person, if ... well ... this connection is suddenly broken ...correct?"

He started to knead his sweaty hands, "And then you search desperately for weeks, get all sorts of thoughts about what could have happened, and then suddenly you see her and hear how she plans to investigate on your ship. And because she is so damn valuable to you, you decide to go undercover yourself... to spy on her... What do you do when she doesn't recognize you and you start ... becoming friends and suddenly, because you were terribly drunk, she could find out who you really are ... then how should you approach this person, if you ... let's say ... don't want to lose her again?"

He had squeezed his hands so hard that they felt sore and sweat appeared on his forehead. Kylo tried desperately to read the facial expression of the red-haired man who had leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms behind his head.

Hux clicked his tongue and then grinned, "Well, let's summarize. The little technician you've been hanging out with lately is in reality the Jedi, and that she is spying on our ship for the past two weeks. You knew about it, disguised yourself as Matt, and found out that you like her more than you expected. Now you are afraid that you are exposed because of the scar on your chest, and that she might hate you because you are basically enemies."

"Urg, how could you...?"

"Oh please, do you think I'm moronic? I was suspicious from the start that you, of all people, wanted to go undercover. The fact that things are developing this way is well ... interesting!"

"You are surprisingly calm for someone who has just found out that we have a spy on board."

Hux sighed, "Well, how do you want me to react? Should I have her executed? After all, you are the one who gives orders here."

Kylo remained silent. Images of Rey appeared before his inner eye.   
She behind bars, chained, beaten, and full of fear.

His chest tightened and he suddenly found it difficult to breathe.  
Was that an aftereffect of the alcohol?

"That's what I thought!" said Hux, leaning forward a little and resting his chin on folded hands, "Well, about the little Jedi, why don't you wait and see how she reacts. After all, you're not one hundred percent sure if she really knows who you are. As far as I remember, Miss Jakku was no longer present at the party. So there is a possibility that she did not see the scar at all. "

Kylo nodded. Maybe Hux was right, and he is just worrying for no reason at all. But something was bothering him.  
"Wait, how do you know it's the scar that concerns me?"

The General snort slightly, "Who do you think found you on Ilum in your own damn blood?" he pursed his lips, "Anyway, we should find out first what the Jedi knows and whatnot, and above all, what exactly her mission is. I admit it worries me that one of our best technicians is a spy. Just one thing I find strange. They weren't any error issues the last few weeks and her file is completely clean. I even called her up personally a few days earlier for a problem in the command center."

"I see," muttered Kylo quietly, and a little smile crept on his face.  
At least, he knows now that she wasn't here because of Hux.  
Wait, why was he relieved?

"I knew it!" exclaimed Hux loudly and jumped from his seat, "You were there, weren't you? Let me guess. You didn't like the caf from the canteen, and because everyone assumed the Supreme Leader is not on board, you needed to creep through the halls to get some bags, right?" he crossed his arms over his chest and grinned broadly.

Th...this guy... how the fuck could he know?  
Unbelievable...  
"Yo...you knew?" 

"Of course, when you are running, it sounds like a horde of Bantha fleeing from a predator. I recognized it immediately. I just wanted to confirm my suspicions."

Kylo realized that he had actually underestimated the redhead.  
All this time, he thought he was something special, something much better. He had been so proud of himself that he could read minds, that he could break people's wills ... even that he could let stones fly. But he could only do all of this because he had the force. But Hux ...  
Hux was just incredibly smart.  
They had been rivals over the years but never had he bothered to really appreciate the redhead's skills.  
And now he was at a disadvantage ... because Hux had observed him, analyzed him, and now ... he knew everything about Kylo.  
Goosebumps ran over his body.  
For the first time, he actually found that Hux was an extremely dangerous man.

"Truly unbelievable!"

Hux's mouth opened, but before he could say something, he got interrupted by a knock on the door.  
Kylo watched as a small service droid was let in, carrying a uniform and wig in his little mechanical arms.  
"Oh!" Hux began and took the clothes from the droid, "Then it's time for me to go! Here are your clothes!"

"I don't quite understand..." 

Hux looked at him in amusement and put the uniform on the table.  
"What? Did you think, just because you have a hangover, that you don't have to work today! You are one of the staff now, Kylo! That means ... there is no vacation for you."

"Urg, you are a sadist!"

"Well, then we must have something in common!" said the General with a shrug and added, "But don't worry, you still have enough time to have your breakfast. I have postponed two of your shifts so that you don't lose your shit again and beat people up."

Kylo didn't know why, but he couldn't stop the laugh that crept out of his throat.  
It was a strange feeling. As far as he remembered, that was pretty much the first normal conversation he ever had with Hux.

It had felt almost friendly in a bizarre way.

Briefly, he looked over to the red-haired man, who entered something into his datapad and then said goodbye with a small nod.  
Just before he was out the door, Kylo called him back.  
"Hux!"

The general turned to him and tilted his head slightly to one side. "Yes?"

"Thank you!" Kylo said, and he really meant it.

Hux's eyes widened, and after a brief moment, he smiled slightly.  
"You have changed, you know?" he nodded again and then disappeared.

Kylo calmly examined his work clothes on the table. Carefully, he took the wig in his hand and caressed it gently.

Maybe he really had changed.  
He still had two weeks to find out whether that was a good thing...or not.

\--------------------------------------------

"Well, if that's not Matt, our dance machine!"

A strong hand was placed on his shoulder, and surprised, he turned to Tim, who grinned broadly at him.  
Next to him stood Steve, raising his hand in greeting.  
Their faces reminded him very much of his own reflection in the mirror that morning.  
"Are you okay, buddy? You look like a sandworm has eaten you and then spat out again," said Tim and laughed.

Well, that wasn't the first time he had heard it that day.   
After breakfast, he immediately set off in disguise, hoping to meet Rey as soon as possible. But his luck was not on his side. Instead, he'd had a few encounters with others who told him more strange things he'd done while drunk.

The worst encounter had been with Jones.  
She stood in front of him, slowly opened her jumpsuit, and showed him that she was the one who caught his shirt. Then she looked at him with wiggling eyebrows and called him "Mattie-Darling!"

He couldn't remember ever running that fast...

"I'm fine, given the circumstances!" he finally answered.   
Tim leaned a little closer and then looked at him with a curious expression, "Is it true that you had a little argument with Brian?"

Brian?  
For a brief moment, he was unsure who Tim was talking about until fragments of memories appeared before his eyes.  
A growl escaped his throat.

"So, it is true that he touched your girl!" Steve spoke before Kylo had the opportunity to answer.

"Niima is not my girl!"

A grin crept onto their faces.  
"Hey, we didn't even mention her name," responded Steve, chuckling.

Urg, these two...

"Well, you should definitely avoid Brian at the moment. He wasn't at all amused that you beat him up," Steve said with a shrug.  
"But let's be honest," Tim began, "Brian definitely deserved it. He shouldn't have just attacked someone's girl."

Kylo rolled his eyes, "I already told you, she is not my girl!"

The two laughed again, "I said of someone. I didn't mention your name at all."

Damn it, those two knew very well they were kidding him.

"Ah, when you talk about the devil. Hey Niima, how is your head, everything alright?" Steve suddenly called and waved his hand at the person at the end of the hallway.

Immediately his heart started beating faster.  
Now the time had finally come when he could find out how she would react to him.  
Did she know who he was, or did she not?

Rey came up to the men with a smile, "Hey you guys, I see you are fine ..." she paused and straightened the collar of her uniform, "Well, more or less, right?"

He eyed her intensely.   
Basically, Rey seemed as friendly and polite as ever. Maybe she looked a little bit tired, but otherwise, she was acting quite ordinary.  
Only one thing struck him.   
She didn't look him in the eyes.

"Well, I had to take at least five painkillers this morning, but then everything was fine," said Tim, and Steve nodded in confirmation.

"It's a shame we don't have days off here. Today I would have loved to spend the whole day in my room," she said, grimacing slightly.

Steve sighed, "That's right. If it weren't for the money, I could have a good time with my wife and daughter now. To see them only via holograms is cruel!"

This information was new to Kylo. Steve was already a dad...   
Interesting.

"Well, the Supreme leader would have to show some humanity for that!" Tim said, and with an apologetic look to Kylo, "No offense Matt, I know you respect him!"

A stab in his left chest made him wince for a moment.  
So that's what the employees thought of him.  
They also thought...that he is a monster.

"Anyway, let's change the subject," continued Steve, pointing with his finger at Rey, "I would be more interested in where you went so quickly!"

Rey took her braids in her hands and played with the ends of her hair.  
"Uh, I suddenly wasn't feeling well. I didn't want to make any mess."

"A pity, you literally missed the best part of the party," Tim said with a grin and put an arm around Kylo's shoulder, "Matt's table dance for example!"

Kriff, couldn't they have come up with another topic?  
Was he really the only one that drunk?  
At least, he had received important information...

Rey wasn't there anymore when he made a fool of himself.  
So she couldn't know who he was.  
And that was good...very good!

"Well, I've heard from others... that it must have been a feast for the eyes!" she giggled softly and looked at him briefly before quickly turning her gaze back to the others.

Still, she didn't look him into the eyes.  
Why?

"Haha, yes that's right. It's a real shame that General Hux suddenly showed up and ended the party. But Matt saved everyone's life. You should have seen him! How he only in his underwear, happily hopped up to Hux and hugged him," Tim laughed out loud.  
"Everyone else could run away without getting caught thanks to that!" added Steve with a nod.

He did what?  
That was a joke, wasn't it?   
Kylo screwed up his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose between his fingers. His head was pounding hard, and the strange taste of vomit hung in his throat.

"Eh, only in underwear? Interesting!" Rey said with a chuckle, "And you actually got out alive?"

It was the first time today that she looked at him a little longer.  
Kylo shook his head quickly, "I ... I don't know anything about it ...I can't remember anything anymore!"

"WHAT?" suddenly exclaimed the three at the same time.  
"You... What's the last thing you remember?" Rey asked, her eyes and mouth wide open.

"Uh, well, that I hit Brian," he replied honestly and looked back and forth between the three. Steve and Tim looked more amused, but Rey...looked shocked?

"You don't remember anything else?" she whispered and pulled her collar tight around her neck.

What was wrong with her?  
As far as he knew, he had fought for her.  
Shouldn't she be more grateful?

"Ahhh Tim, our next shift is starting," Steve exclaimed out of the blue, pulled Tim by the arm, and called over his shoulder, "See you!" and they disappeared around the next corner. From a distance, he heard Tim's voice, "Steve, what's going on?"

Rey snorted and mumbled, "How obvious."

Then it was quiet. Kylo looked around briefly and noticed that he had been left alone in the hallway with her.  
She tipped back and forth and seemed to be elsewhere in thoughts.  
After a short moment, she stared at him and opened and closed her mouth a few times.  
It reminded him a little of a small fish.

"I ..." she began, folding her collar up again, "I think I better go too!"  
She nodded briefly, and without looking at him further, walked past him.

For a moment, he remained petrified and severe pain began to circle in his head.  
What was that supposed to mean?  
Just why?  
Why wasn't she talking to him?

As he turned around, he could no see her anymore.  
Why? Why did she go?

She always did... She always went...

But not this time!  
He wouldn't let her go without her explaining what was going on. He wasn't going to sit there for another two days wondering why he missed her.  
Not this time!

He started to run.

Around the next corner, then another corner...  
Damn it, where did she go so quickly?  
Another corner...

He slid to a stop.

There, by the elevators, he finally found her.  
From the side, he saw how she chewed on her lower lip and stared at the door with a firm look.

He hurried up to her. When he heard the elevator door open, he quickened his pace.

"Niima, wait!" he called loudly and began to run again.

Before she could enter, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back forcefully.

A loud squeak escaped her as she whirled, lost her balance, and slammed hard against his chest. Surprised by her weight, he stumbled a little, and they both landed hard on the floor.  
"Ouch!" it escaped them at the same time.  
The elevator door closed.  
She gave him a disapproving look, and he quickly straightened up and helped her to her feet.  
"Oh, sorry, Niima," he began slightly out of breath, "that was probably too inten..."

And then he saw it.

The reason why she was acting weird. The reason why she had always played around with her collar and why this detail had always caught his eye.

There was a big bruise on her neck!

She tried to cover it with one hand, but he was faster and grabbed her by both wrists.  
"Please, don't look!" she said with a trembled voice.

He hadn't seen anything like that before. The spot was large, oval-shaped, and strangely green-purple in color.  
Someone had hurt her...  
Who?

His stomach tightened, and an irrepressible heat shot through his body, making him feel like his head was about to burst.

"Who did this?"

"Uhh," her eyes wandered from side to side, "Nobody. I just...fell"

She lied!

"Was that Brian?"

She quickly shook her head, "No, it was nobody, really...nobody..."

Another lie.  
Why did she do that?  
It was so obvious she was lying. Why couldn't she tell him the truth?

"I swear, Niima, if I find him, I'll make him pay, I'll let him burn, I'll ..."

He would kill him!

She let out a small sigh, "I guarantee you, it wasn't Brian."

This time ... she was telling the ... truth.  
But ... who was it? Who did this to her?  
...  
He drew in a sharp breath when a thought occurred to him.

Why she wanted to avoid him, why she didn't want to look him in the eye ...  
It wasn't Brian ...

It was him!

He let go of her with a jerk and took a step back.  
She reflexively rubbed her wrists.

"I ..." he began, "I ..."

"It's okay," she interrupted and pressed the elevator button again, "you were drunk, and you can't remember anyway!"

No, that wasn't okay. How could he have lost control like that? Especially with her ... that was impossible ... he had never intended to...hurt her.

He looked at the bruise again.  
What exactly did he do?  
It didn't look like he had hit or choke her.  
What was it?

"Listen, Matt, I'm sorry I didn't tell the truth, I thought ... it would be uncomfortable ..." she said, and put a hand on her neck, "You just weren't ...yourself..."

"Did I Bite You?"

She blinked a few times, "What?"

"Did I Bite You?" he repeated his question.

"Are you serious?" she asked, frowning.

Well, it looked a bit like a bite.  
But besides that, he knew he had to apologize for hurting her.  
Otherwise, he was unsure whether she would ever talk to him normally again, and he knew from the last time that it had been torture to be ignored by her.  
After all ... he still had to keep an eye on her.

He took a deep breath and looked determinedly at her, "I'm sorry I bit you. I promise I'll never do it again. Please forgive me!"

He waited anxiously for her reaction, but none came.  
Instead, Rey just stared at him as he'd just said the stupidest thing she'd ever heard.  
Did he say something wrong?

Somehow that confused him.  
Wouldn't the time have come where she says that everything is only half as wild, smile at him, maybe hug him, and then they could crack jokes again?

But nothing happened.  
She just kept staring at him with her mouth open.  
And somehow ... that was annoying.

"Okay," he said after a moment, grabbed his collar and pulled it to the side, "You can bite me too, then we'll be even!"

"What?" it escaped her in a whisper.

"I said, bite me too, that would be fair, right?"  
He stretched his neck towards her and waited. Rey didn't move.

She stood still and glared at him. In the corner of his eye, he saw the elevator door open.  
He thought for a moment that he really had said something silly.   
But then she said, "Okay!" and took a step towards him.

"Close your eyes!" her voice sounded so soft and loving that the lower half of his body contracted.  
He closed his eyes as she had ordered.

Through the uniform, he could feel the warmth of her little hands on his chest. Her fragrant hair tickled his face, and her breath gently brushed his ear.  
And then ...

Nothing.

Confused, he opened his eyes. He could only see a hint of a smile on her face as the elevator doors closed, and he was left alone in the hallway.

**Author's Note:**

> I rated it for Teen audience and up, let me know if swear words and the mention of inappropriate thoughts needs to be change to another rating.
> 
> I used some quotes from the book, Movies as well as from the SNL-Sketch.


End file.
